Welcome to the first episode of Clay Nation's favorite soap opera, "The Dumb and the Clayless". Today's episode has....

Inside info! Inside info!

Yes folks, get it here first! My cousin's daughter's friend's sister's fiancee has a friend who works with the janitor at Apple. Now, I KNOW y'all can keep a secret, but the janitor was able to snag a copy of their next big commercial. Wanna see it?

How'd I get it? Didn't I just tell you? I could have gone to the tabloids with this, but they only print lies so they sent me home. The nerve! And I was really hoping for that career in adult ntertainment.

sigh