Dear Jesus,

After carefully reading some reviews from last night's show, I've come up with a couple of ideas that might help make everyone happy. As usual, I'll need Your help with some of the trickier timing and safety issues, as well as the location of some swag. Anyway, here it is ...

Clay really needs to start the Houston show by simulcasting (shown live on the jumbotron) from an airplane flying over Jones Hall. When he is directly above, he should then parachute out in a chute emblazoned with the American and Texas state flags, while singing "I Did It My Way" on the way down. He should aim for the central skylight to crash through and be wielding a large sword, or if possible a lit torch. Awaiting on the stage will be the orchestra, all his band and an effigy of Clive Davis, which he either cuts the head off of with the sword, or lights with the torch just as he lands. Then he should sing every good song ever written, then take requests.

After a brief intermission (btw, if you could locate some keychains and programs for the venue to sell, that would be really great. Good luck), he should choose several volunteers from the audience to help him do an impromptu reenactment of Act 1 of Hair.

Well, that's it. As always, keep him happy and healthy and kind and honest and make him like cats if you can. Let us all live in love and harmony, and please smite all of his enemies dead.

Amen.