Well, now that Clay has mentioned how much he loves penguins - in his Blog that has 560706 hits even as I type this - and he knows how his fans love to give him things, I'd say he's opened up a big, fat, squiggly, fishy can-o-worms. Gotta love this guy.

Oh my... Clay is SO VERY LUCKY he's not coming out west and that I don't have a shred of a chance of winning a Meet And Greet, seeing as how I've been looking - for years - for someone to unload all my penguin sh*tstuff on.

Just imagine me carrying three or four large shopping bags full of "gifts". I'm sure Mary would be thrilled! And he wouldn't even have to sign anything! He could keep them all.

(Here's what you're missing out on, big guy:)

Penguin oven mitts (one of the flippers has a hole in it and you burn your thumb, so this is actually a good one to miss)

Penguin slippers (which are way funnier if you walk funny, you know, like with your toes pointed kind of out, like Cl... er, never mind. Trust me.)

A penguin stained-glass "painting" (or work of "art" or whatever the stationary store that sold it to my father labeled it. It's got many years worth of layered hairspray on it, from being on the back wall of the bathroom, opposite the mirror)

Penguin charm bracelet (exactly as you picture it)

Penguin Romance Novels (nothing to do with penguins at all, except the publishing company name, and they're truly awful... you could give them away. probably.)

A recipe for Penguin Jerky (Heee, I made that one up. But I really do have an ingredients list that I'm sure would turn out very well, if you're interested)

A cute, fluffy stuffed Penguin (rare, hard to find I'm sure)

A Penguin coloring book (needs only one black crayon)

I have more, but even this much has already tired me out as far as my daily allotment of penguin-think.