Well sinice my last blog in April of last year I have been thought alot as I am sure we all have.It was hard on me knowing that Clay really did have a son thats when I knew omg either he is gay or in love with Jaymes I knew I totaly wasnt ever ment to be with him then lol. I dont know why I had such a hard time with it all really I knew he wasnt going to be mine but I wanted him to be.Then when he came out I felt good about it I was happy beacause then I knew the reason why he had his son like he did.I also had a hard time with other things then My friend and I were frighting and werent friends anymore and I didnt have a boyfriend or a car and still dont.Anyways I was going though dreppresstion big time crying everyday I even went to a doc.Well I did alot of praying to Jesus to help me get over Clay and it work that and time and Now I am so soo over him and I am staying a fan though.I will try to still see whats new with him all the time.I heard he found love I am happy for him we all should be in love.

I actully told myself I wont let myself fall for another celb it will be when hell frezzes over well I lied to myself beacause I have a crush on a actor on one of my tv shows I know I should try to forget the way I feel and tell myself to stop beacause I cant have this guy either.It is hard when you dont have a man and you are so into guys that some of them turn you on.I dont know if I should let my daydreaming go on or forget about it.I should probaby stop before I get hurt again.I hope I can find someone on Macth.com soon wish me luck I have bad luck finding a man.Anyways I feel I came a long way sinice my last blog. and I am so glad to be in this place with Clay that I am now where it dont bug me to hear about certain things as it did.

Thanks for reading if anyone does actully read these things lol

Karen