Boy do I need a Zen reminder this morning. When Paula made her random, gratuitous little insult to Clay on AI last night, I went from Zen to ass-kicking in 2.3 seconds. I think the phrase "skanky, drugged-up has-been" was used. Actually, I know it was -- I have the CH post to prove it g Now I have to find my happy place again.

I know there's some debate over whether Paula was talking about the song or the clothes, or even whether she intended to insult Clay at all. However, her exact words were, "Oh my God. Never in a million years could Clay Aiken pull that off." And whether she was referring to Taylor's outfit of leather jacket, tshirt and jeans or she was referring to the song, it was an insult. Her words strike directly at what Clay is capable of as a performer.

Honestly, Simon's comments didn't get to me so much. He's a jerk and he's never really pretended to be anything else. But Paula is a different matter altogether. Last April, when Paula was accused of sleeping with a former contestant and helping him go farther in the competition, the scandal that erupted could have ended her career with AI. More than one person called for her to be fired for her impropriety. As things began to heat up, Clay didn't hesitate to step up for her. The story first broke officially on MSNBC.com on 4/21. Clay attended the next two AI episodes (4/26 and 4/27), sitting in the audience and taking promo photos that made a point of his support for Paula.

When the Primetime episode with Corey Clark aired on ABC on 5/4, Clay appeared the very next morning on WRAL and CBS's The Early Show defending her. He also showed up on entertainment shows like The Insider and Entertainment Tonight, expressing disbelief of Corey's claims and reiterating his support for Paula. As someone who lived in the house with Corey during his tenure on American Idol, Clay's word carried weight when he said he'd seen no evidence to support Corey's story.

And now, in a sad attempt to one-up Simon, Paula tosses off an insult to Clay, apparently without a second thought. Of course, "second thought" would imply a first one. Insert your own Paula joke here, but what I mean to say is that I believe she was operating on instinct rather than intentional malice. However, it's our instinctive response that often reveals who we really are.

So what does all this have to do with today's Zen story and getting me back to my happy place? During the many conversations on the boards last night about this incident, one person said "I wish Clay had never stood up for her last year" and just for a split second, I agreed with her. But just as quickly I realized I don't really feel that way. And I would be very, very surprised if Clay regrets it. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he'd do it again. It's who he is. Who Paula is, or who anyone else is, doesn't change that.

And that leads us (finally!) to today's Zen story:

Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl and again the scorpion fell into the water. The monk saved the scorpion and again was stung. The other monk asked him, "Friend, why do you continue to save the scorpion when you know its nature is to sting?"

"Because," the monk replied, "to save it is my nature."

Oh, and Paula?