Ok, whew. It’s been a carnival ride the past couple of days, but in a good way. First of all, let me tell you guys something.

1. Clay Aiken is a very nice guy.
2. Clay Aiken is very handsome.
3. Clay Aiken can sing real good.

I wasn’t going to submit a story OR attend a concert, but then Clay blogged and I caved. Sue me.

I got notification that my story would be read on Monday, after I had left home for St. Louis. I didn’t even tell my travel buddies lyricAKP and farouche until we all arrived in St. Louis, because I had to be at the venue by 4:45 on Tuesday, and they’re kinda nosy and would have been all up in my koolaid about where I was going all dressed in black and whatnot. But I threatened them with some really bad fanfic if they told anybody, so they behaved.

Anyhoo. I got to the Fox box office at the allotted time, and met up with two other ladies, HeyButterflyfrom the OFC and another nice lady from St. Louis (I don’t know her screen name). In a short while, Jamie came around to get us. She is the cutest thing I have ever seen, and has the southernest accent I’ve ever heard, which is saying something, what with me sounding like Gomer Pyle and all. She checked our email printouts and ID’s, and looked at mine and said “Hay! Yew’re tha go-go bewts!” Ha!

That’s when she asked us if we knew anybody would could read a story that Clay wanted to use. Neither of the St. Louis gals could think of anybody, so I offered up one of my roommates, knowing both of them well enough that they would do pretty much anything Clay asked them to do. And they both could read, near as I could tell.

So I called lyric and said “Can one of you come down here and read a story for tonight.” And she said “Shyeah, right.” And Jamie was standing right there, so I said “Seriously, Clay needs a reader for a story tonight. One of you needs to come down here and do it.” And lyric said, "This better not be a prank, I swear to God, and give us a second to figure this out.” So I told Jamie that I thought one of them could do it, but they had to freak out real quick and call me back.

At this point, Jamie took us back stage where she gave us basic information on the stage setup and the set list and when our stories would be read. Mine was first. So I had to rehearse mine first. Jesse was at the piano, the microphone was on the stage, and Jamie handed me the Black Binder of Holiday Spirit and said “hold the book on your left and stand real close to the microphone, and when Jesse starts playing, start reading.” Ho-kay. It was at this point I decided I had made a tactical error in that I had apparently forgotten that I’m a freakin idiot and should never be allowed to speak in public.

However, it was also at this point that my legs loco-moted my body out on the stage under their own volition. And it was also at this point that I looked out into the house and saw an utterly beautiful Clay Aiken sitting there in a seat about five rows from the stage. Looking at me. Ack.

Jesse started playing, and I started reading. No sound was coming out, though, because the microphone was turned off. At this point, Clay jumped up and loped up to the stage waving his arms and saying something like “the sound’s not working, hang on!” so I shut my mouth. He said something to somebody and then turned back to me and said “Hey Joy!” And I said “Hey!” That part worked out pretty well, I think.

At that point, he started talking to me about a few other things and gave me some direction on how to stand and to move the book to the other side and hold it up higher, etc. And he said “I normally tell people not to act when they’re reading, but I want you to act some. I know you can do it.” So blame the ham factor on him, he told me to do it and I always do what he says. He was quite the little cheerleader. So then I started reading like this:

“WhenIwasinelementaryschoolmytwosistersandIhad all ragged gasp for air gottenstylishblahblahblah”

And he stopped me again and told me I probably needed to breathe, and I definitely needed to slow down. And I said “you want me to slow down?” And he said yeah, slow it down some. And I said “but I already sound like Minnie Pearl.” And he said, “don’t worry, you’re doing fine, you’re going to do a great job” and other nice things like that. He’s a nice guy. I’m not sure if I mentioned that earlier.

So I got finished and the other two ladies went while we waited for farouche to get her bee-hind up to the venue. After the second reader rehearsed, Clay hollered up at me “Joy! Is your friend here yet?!?” And I told him she was on the way. And then HeyButterfly went, and when she finished, Clay hollered up at me again “Joy! Is your friend here yet?!?!” And I told him she was here and was waiting for somebody to get her at the box office. So Jamie called Jerome and he went to go get farouche.

Fast forward to the show. I went out there and read my story.

Fast forward to after the show. Jamie met us at a predetermined location and took us backstage, and we only waited a couple of minutes for Clay to come out. When he did, he was happy and laughing and mind-blowingly gorgeous, and he saw us and said “Hey guys!” and started thanking us profusely for sharing our stories. He was so sweet, I’m not kidding y’all. He told us we all did a good job and shared a few private words with each of us. Then we had our pictures taken with him and I put my arm around his back, which was a little bit damp - - his back, not my arm - - and I blacked out for a second while I contemplated that issue. Then he gave us signed printouts of our stories, making a presentation of each one with very sweet and appreciative words and told us we would have to buy our own frames. Then he gave us each a hug. It was a good hug, too. He squeezed me. That part was real nice, but I think he squeezed my brains out somehow because I suddenly got stupider if you can even imagine.

I hope he doesn’t have this contest again, because my new favorite Christmas memory definitely involves Clay Aiken, which breaks the rule. But I think I can deal with it. Heh.

For those interested, I’ll post my story as soon as I can. I can’t post it right yet, though.

I’m really glad I did it. I have no idea why he picked my story, but I understand his vision for the concert and recognize that it was important to him to have these stories shared. He looked so happy, you guys. sniff.

Oh, one more thing. He knows my real name, he knows my screen name, he knows my writing, and knows what I look like, but he didn’t mention our engagement at all. I’m not sure what’s up with that.