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Separated at Birth- the story of the two Karens
07/16/05BABY D: It was a cold and rainy night. Yeah, it's Snoopy's line, what of it? Get lost!
Mother Dearest was more than accommodating- they were ten years apart!
That's what we call a long stretch!
Fetus Divayenta was calmly waiting for her twin, the formidable KAndre to get her act together so they could make a dual entrance. Fetus KAndre was primping and taking her sweetass time testing the ZEN-llike calm of her older sister.
And then it happened, the GRAND ENTRANCE. The earth shook, there were volcanoes erupting in Hawaii and a typhoon in Hong Kong. It was too much for the Earth to sustain. There was mild precipitation, however in Cleveland.
Did I say that these two have egos? Okay, just checking!
Baby KAndre howled and wailed for room service. Baby Divayenta checked out the accomodations which she later described as "sterile". A large pair of gloved hands pulled Baby K away from her sister. What was happening here and why?
Baby K: It was clear to the hospital staff that there was something special about these two precious darlings, as Baby D explained the complete inadequacy of the facilities, staff and gifts (in a perfectly reasonable tone) and forced the OB-GYN to run out and get 251 mourning doves; 17 sprays consisting of camillias and magnolia blossoms interspersed with deep pink roses; a haiku composed on the spot to the joys of femininity and a little B-12, as they were feeling somewhat stressed. Baby D was teaching Baby K to say "My sister can beat up your sister" in Mandarin when a chopper landed on the roof of the hospital. Dag Hammarskjold strode into the room and told the two Karens that he had an vitally important assignment that would enable them to save the world from certain destruction. It would entail many wild adventures, handsome men, Casino Royale, beautiful clothes, cats, Queen, smart-ass remarks, fast cars, faster boys, Tiny Tim, Godzilla, butter, the Olympics, chi, the original Rat Pack, blue eyeshadow, and Hostess Ding-Dongs.
After three hours of negotiations (and two diaper changes), the girls had forced Dag to exchange Tiny Tim for Cary Grant, play 5,833 hands of "Go Fish" and to compose a limerick to the girls' overall sweetness. Oddly enough, he struggled a little with that. Since the Karens had won Dag's helicopter during the 4,002th hand of "Go Fish" (you would have thought he could count cards better than that), they used it to fly to Carnaby Street in London for World Saving outfits. With stilletos.
And so you see, minion PS - it helps one's world domination skills incredibly to have a twin born exactly 10 years prior to oneself, to lay the groundwork, so to speak. As for the PITA stuff, excuse me, what, are you trying put Prep H out of business? Being a pain in the ass is an honorable occupation!