OK, I know I probably shouldn't be doing this today of all days~but what are blogs for but to rant to and to sing to, right?...or, as I am a Canadian, eh?

Normally, I think I am a positive person; I love puppies AND kittens (sorry, Clay!)and rainbows and roses. When the boards angst over delayed CDs and posts about EPs I am the first to say "never mind, it'll be fine."

Not so much today.

Last night I THINK I found out that this person I love sometimes MORE than my own family, that I have been working my butt off for the last 2.5 years (in metric terms), is really, really unhappy. REALLY unhappy.

When I made that vow never, ever to let him be #2 again I thought I was doing something that would make him happy. And instead I find out that I have condemned him to a life in Hell. I don't know what to do. I just don't.

Don't get me wrong~I live Clay as much or more than I ever have~I just don't know whether to perpetuate this life of his by doing what I have been doing, or back out and let it go in the hope that others will do that as well and he can go home and be in peace.

I am NOT one of the grass-pulling, church-visiting, phone-number-stealing, Faye-bothering MINORITY. But I still feel like I've let him down, when I was trying to build him up.

Tomorrow could be another day.

Clay, I hope you use this forum you now have, to tell us what IS the real truth~here, where everything is official.

Fans have feelings too.

Lori