I answered..."Yes, Rocky was diagnosed with cancer some time ago and it looks like sigh the inevitable outcome is approaching. And he's the only "family" I have left anymore".

At that,she came over to me,put her arm around me, and said..."Of course you have family,you have insert name of company I work for"

Now I know that she meant well,but I had to laugh at that. Those of you from CV know what a job from hell I have and our new general manager (the fourth in as many months-that should tell you something) is the worst @&^ I have ever worked for in almost 34 years of employment.Add to that the fact that I have nothing in common with any of these people,they know very little if anything about my private life. I would barely call them acquaintances,certainly not friends,and in no way,shape ,or form would I consider any of them family.

But 4 or 5 years ago,following my mom's passing,I might have been touched or consoled by her statement rather than amused.The difference is that now I know better. I know that yes indeed,people who are not related to you by blood can become as close as your family. Because it has happened to me here on the boards. I'm basically a fairly shy,introverted person. How I turned into a post-ho on the boards is beyond me.And the really mind-boggling part is that at least some of you actually read what I write.

I never,ever get tired of someone saying that something I wrote was funny,that it made them laugh.That makes my entire day.My sense of humor tends to be somewhat sarcastic and has gotten me in so much trouble at work so many times that I've learned the hard way to just keep my mouth shut.So to have someone tell me that they appreciate my humor is a big deal to me.

And the more...introspective,maybe,for lack of a better word...things I've written here in my blog are a whole other subject.The comments and encouragement you've given me have brought me to tears sometimes. I can't thank you guys enough.

Which means,at least by my standards, that you know me. Not every last detail,but most of the important stuff,the things that make me...well,ME.You know what's on my mind and in my heart,even if you don't know what I look like.Like the one night my friend ClaymaniacinPA had trouble with the board,but posted that she could still tell my posts without seeing my avatar or screen-name,she just knew my "voice". That's knowledge,that's friendship,that...is family.

You're there with birthday greetings for me,the first since my mom's been gone. You're there on Thanksgiving and Christmas.We rang the New Year in together.We hug and cry and cheer and "EEEE" together.We share the good and bad,happy and sad.

My boss also said that of course the "family love" at work (yeah,right) was different because ,of course it wasn't unconditional.

Unconditional.How strange that she would pick that word.

The word that GBB added to our show of love and support that night.To tell Clay that we would always be there for him,that no matter what... we believe in him and stand by him and love him unconditionally.

I started to tell her about it,but thought better of it.Face it,no one outside the fan-dom would begin to understand the significance of anything that happens on the boards or our feelings for Clay and for each other.

One of my favorite quotes is from the book Illusions by Richard Bach. It goes like this...

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood but of respect and joy in each others lives"

Dancermom has a name for it,she calls it ohana. Our family by choice rather than by birth.The people we share our homes,cars,hotel rooms,money,and expertise with.The sisters and brothers who are a part of our joys ,our tears,our hopes ,our fears, our hearts....our lives.Just like Clay said during the JNT05 about spending the holidays with the people that mean the most to you.They might not be the people you would expect.They might be people whose face's you have never seen before,whose voices have never reached your ears,whose "real life" names you don't even know. But you already know everything about them that really matters.They love Clay and he has a place in their hearts.And because of that,you do also.

It's because we're family now.Clay said so.