Did y'all know that bruises can get bruises? Check out my hematoma:

If I were a psychologist I would use it for the Rorschach inkblot test. It looks like a buffalo to me. If you see an idiot at any concerts wearing pants while it's 100 degrees, there's a good chance that will be me. Gross, ain't it?

Got an email this morning that my new laptop shipped from Dell. The things I have done for Clay Aiken. I believe Michael Dell is in cahoots with the devil (aka Bill Gates) but I just couldn't pass on the great promotion Dell ran last week. Basically, I got a laptop that's twice as nice as my old one for $100 less than what I paid for the crappier one 2 years ago. Similar systems were selling for $300 more elsewhere. I had to choose between my principles and another Clay Aiken concert. Guess which one won?

Yikes! My last blog entry contained some atrocious sentence structure. Let's blame it on the drugs.