Been a while.....miss me? Of course you do. :)

Although it seems I really only update when I have something that's eating at me....

This case is really no different.

My friend Nadia is/was my first Clay friend. I met her over at Bolt, and even after we left that board, we'd still keep in touch and talk on AIM for hours each night. We even met up and went to the NAT together. She lives in PA, so I flew up there, and we went to the Cleveland show together.

Of course, after that, we stayed in touch for another year, before we just started drifting. After the NAT, Nadia had left the internet/fanfic Clayworld. She's still a Clay fan, but she had overdone it so much on that tour, that she needed to get her real life priorities straightened out. That fall, she told me that she had met a boy (a VERY exciting thing, since she had never dated before, and the fanfic she wrote was an amazing expression of how she imagined falling in love would be like). Of course, over time, the e-mails, calls, and IM conversations became less and less, and we sorta lost touch. The last time I talked to her was before this past Thanksgiving, and it was only for about 5 minutes.

Wellll.....I found out that last week, Nadia got engaged. I hadn't talked to her, but I read about it on her AIM profile. While I was beyond thrilled for her, I had a slightly uneasy feeling. Yesterday, she had put pictures up from her adventures rock climbing where the proposal happened. I went to the link, and decided to take a look. That uneasy feeling I had earlier increased, and I burst into tears.

Yup....I bawled at a bunch of pictures of people rock climbing. Kinda silly.

Most would probably say that I was upset that she was getting married and I was still single and not even close to being married. But honestly, that's not the case at all. I'm not worried about my own love life (or lack of one) right now. I have God's timing in that, and I'm preparing to start Grad school in June....so I will certainly be blessed with new opportunities.

No, I think the answer is quite simple: I miss Nadia's friendship.

Of course, I have great friends around here...one of my very best friends from college moved back from Maryville (although he's going back in the fall to finish up his undergrad there), but I found myself reminiscing about our late-night chats about a Clay TV appearance, concerts, writing, and non-Clay stuff like church, hair, and family. And I really, really missed the good ole days. I've done a lousy job of staying in touch.

It should also be said that I've never been a fan of change. I mean big change....Clay's hair doesn't count. Although I do handle change better than my dad.

Of course, the solution for my glumness is pretty simple: pick up the phone and freakin' call her. And I will....but probably not until I'm sure I can talk to her and congratulate her without crying. I'm feeling better today than I did last night, but I don't think the emotion is quite done yet. I probably better get an awesome night's sleep and recover from Daylight Savings first.

Ironically, though.....some Evanescence is helping cheer me up right now.

"You poor, sweet, innocent thing Dry your eyes And testifyyyyyyyyy!!!"

Is Amy Lee sending me subliminal messages?

Until next time....