I am usually able to do a recap. My excitement and love for Clay make it so easy for the words to flow. I like to share that excitement for those who can’t be there and as a reminder to myself of the experience…even given the Aiken fog. But this time is different. I’m not sure why though. It may be that I don’t want to let it out; or it may be that I am emotionally devoid after feeling it so strongly during the show. I’m not really sure why but I know the words that I get out at this time will no where hit the core of how I’m feeling. I thought about not trying, as xxx4clay had said in her recap. But then I would have nothing at all on paper to read back on later. So I suppose I will give it a try but have no idea where my words will lead. Be forewarned.

I believe this Jukebox Tour that Clay conjured up was a way for him to get himself out there, reach the fans and tell us that he still loves us and hoped we still love him too. As we know now, he felt that he needed to keep his image alive. And so the fan club and the tour, both of those which reached out to his fans.

As the excitement grew, I knew I had to get to a show as soon as possible (you know the feeling). And so I hoped for Mohegan Sun; then hearing about AC being the end of the tour, I knew I wanted to be there. With the excitement of our dear Angelty and what she was working so hard to accomplish in Meadville lured me there. Each one was a totally different experience and held a special purpose. A friend asked me recently, after Meadville, how I felt about the two shows…were they different in any way. Mohegan Sun was our very enthusiastic and excited Clay getting on stage after such a long hiatus. The energy and thrill was unbelievable. I was awestruck! HE was out there, wanting us to know he is still strong, can put on a great show and that he loved us. At Meadville, he grew into a comfortableness that warmed my heart….by then he saw that we DID still love him and that he did have IT.

So I made plans for AC feeling very happy that it would be a great show and that he knew we loved him. It became a bit precarious for me personally as you now know that my DD#2 was to deliver her baby at any time and I came down with a cold. But with reassurance from her that she would call me instantly and hoped the 6 hour drive would be shorter than her delivery, and armed with meds from the doctor, my DH and I were off to AC. The Borgata is a lovely hotel and it felt good that Clay was performing in a bit of a classier AC hotel than most. As we were checking in, shortly behind us were RaleighLady, Sassybabe, and Acclaymend…all of us eager for our two last shows. I also met bowledover again who introduced us to her DH.

When I went to the Event Center, I was a bit surprised at how small it appeared but I was told that it held over 3000 people…but it felt intimate. I was sitting in the 6th row just 2 seats from Invisible and I was so happy to see her and give her my best thoughts for her and her family. She knew it would be quite a while before she and her family would get home but they were all safe, so that was a blessing. Between us was a lurker fan, decked out in pins and cameras but who nearly fell apart at the end from Clay’s impact.

It was a wonderful show, just as others have said. Each performance was terrific…and we got ‘teacher-Clay’. We had to raise our hands, raise both hands, put them back down, then raise them again while he pointed at us asking how many of us have been to more than this show and how many were there for the first time. He was taking a survey… ’research’ he called it, to see if the Christmas tour would sell or not.

Clay is so quick and clever and in this case I was very happy. During STB, he was asked to sing “What’s New Pussycat?” Not quite sure why this woman wanted THIS song but Clay decided that he wasn’t doing Vegas and asked her to come on stage to sing it with the band. Thank you Clay. ICMYLM was somewhat ruined by screamers and I had an image of ‘teacher-Clay’ showing up again by just stopping the song until the misbehaved were quiet. But he sang it beautifully, obviously blocking out the screamers….such a professional.

I left this show satiated…basking in a more relaxed and confident Clay…one that had grown to know we still love him and who was happy for it.

The next day, I decided I needed to ‘thank’ my DH for being such a good sport in coming to AC and I knew he was bored (he didn’t want a ticket to the show). I thought I would give up my dinner with our CV friends so as to spend the time with him…he said this was part of my experience and I should not pass up meeting everyone…very sweet. So instead, I agreed to take a drive around AC to see what it was like. We stopped into a hotel that is on the boardwalk to try our hand at the slot machines. Now I say ‘stopped in’ but let me tell you, I must have walked 10 miles….from the parking garage and around the tiers of the hotel. Having a cold did not help. Then, we got lost getting back to the Borgata and by the time we returned I was nearly limping and overheated and with only 30 minutes to get ready to meet the CVers for dinner.

I made it down to the Buffet 10 minutes late but was greeted by a smiling and lovely group of women… vjm, janscaped and her cousin, LOML, xxx4clay and her Clay buddy, pattie58, who didn’t disclose that she was about to meet Clay, lolacat, njrp. Outside of the restaurant, we met rae and her Mom. It is so beautiful to meet people who you have ‘talked’ to for so long and can now see in person… there is a bond that we have developed here at CV and it enhances our love for Clay.

When I entered the theatre, an adorable young woman comes up to me and asks me who I am from Clayversity. I had forgotten that I had a solid-color top on with only one pin that stood out prominently…my Clayversity pin. After I realized what she saw, I was able to answer…I’m WinkAtMe. And she answers, I’m Queensmum….ahhh! I loved finally meeting her.

For the first half, I was enjoying the show from the far right side of the stage and saw many couples where the young men were having just as good a time as the women. Being on the outside aisle, some were able to move out into the aisle and move forward for a better view. There was one particular fellow, very good-looking with a pale orange shirt and a big smile the entire time. He was riveted to the stage. I began to focus on some of the audience to see how those who were not the demographics so often described as Clay fans, and they were having the best time…I just smiled and held that thought close to my heart. Clay was opening minds and spreading his talents to those who never saw him before. I later found out that this young man that awakened me to this thought was the son of littlec. I was so pleased that she was able to share this with her family.

At intermission, xxx4clay offered me her unused seats that were closer to center and a few rows up. Thank you so much!

ICMYLM was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. You could hear a pin drop. There was not a single cry out for Clay to know who they were. I was hanging in that moment waiting for it to be broken, but it never did…he was left to sing this beautiful ballad to the end.

I had eagerly posted that night all of the pranks that happened; but what was the most impressive was that Clay was still able to deliver each performance flawlessly in spite of it. You could tell that this group has bonded and were enjoying themselves.

I cry every time Clay sings the opening to WDC…his voice is beautiful. For each ballad, I found myself with my hand over my heart and tears welling up in my eyes. Would I ever hear Clay sing ‘Suspicious Minds’ again? Would he retire WDC? Given the premise of this tour, we are unlikely to hear Clay sing ‘Sailing’, ‘Alone’ or ICMYLM again. It was almost more than I could bear. In some ways it was like an ending. He will continue to perform but this particular show was a gift to us. It was a way that we could enjoy all of his versatility and share it with others through ‘clack’. How very generous of him.

Now for a little blatant honesty to which I am embarrassed to admit. During this tour I have been a bit jealous. Jealous of the quiet that Quiana’s song IWALY receives from the audience and the spontaneous reaction from the crowd. She sings it beautifully, I cannot deny that and I feel lucky to be able to hear her sing it. With Clay, most of the spontaneity is not as obvious. We love him, we know how well he sings, we expect him to sing everything well, and we enjoy it immensely. So, while we show him our appreciation in clapping, it is not the spontaneity that he received when he was on the AI2 tour…when so many were still learning more about him. But this is just me feeling a bit protective of Clay. To someone who has never been to a concert and doesn’t know that we are more comfortable with Clay’s excellence, it would seem that Quiana gets more response from the audience. Particularly to so-called reviewers who are attending a show for the first time. Even with Clay’s desire to have his friends succeed, I wouldn’t want him to be listening backstage and think “oh, they didn’t clap that enthusiastically for me?” I know in my head that it is silly to worry about this, it is just my protective nature of him. And he DOES know that we love him.

Which leads to the ending, and I am sure many who may still be reading this are saying “Thank the Lord”. While there were so many gorgeous moments of this show, the last few songs did it for me. It began with ‘Tears’. I don’t know how, but I forgot about the glow sticks. I had the thought that we were going to sing a song to him. With that thought, I made a simple sign that said “Thank you Clay!” to hold up at the end. As he began “Tears”, everyone reached into purses or pockets and cracked their glow sticks and held them high in the air. When you see a video, you can clearly see the reaction on his face. He turns back to Q, A, J smiling as if to say “Do you see this?” He sang perfectly but instead of emoting the sadness of this song, he glowed and smiled. He KNEW we loved him surely. From my position on the side, it was a sea of glowsticks in different colors waving back and forth for Clay. I was awestruck. I remembered to hold up my sign as Clay faced my side and I think he may have been able to read it. As he began BFM, the arm pumping began, this time highlighted with a glow. You could see Q smiling and tears were running. Clay gave it his all. It was a joyousness like he had when he sang Invisible in the AI2 concerts and saw our reactions for the first time. It felt like the roof would come right off as we sang right along with him. He went right into ‘Invisible’ and I think he was floating across that stage with a huge smile. He was loving us right back and singing his heart out to us. When the song ended, he prolonged his appreciation for the band members. I felt like he didn’t want it to end. He enjoyed the clapping and kept encouraging more. And then he did what I appreciate the very most. He stood there and bowed and let us clap for HIM…this time he stood a bit longer than in the past. Then he turned, hit the Jukebox and bowed his head.