okay where do i start..

March 19th my world started to blow up when someone dear to me got introuble..

april 19th i had my first surgery having my new tumor removed..

May11th i started chemo treatments that lasted till july 13th...

august 15th i took a detour with all this back luck and saw clay in concert..that night was wonderful!

september 4th

i had my total hysterectomy removing my ovaries and uterus..i stayed in the hospital 2 nights 3 days...took 5 weeks out of work to recover..

my sons grades are dropping, my house is filled with so much tension how do i make it? i find myself getting angry and hard towards everything..

i wish i was seeing clay for christmas cause it sure would help right about now..

my mother 2 weeks ago was diagnosed with cancer, right now they think it is breast cancer..she had a petscan this past friday and will find out results this coming friday...my family wanted me to take her to her results appointment, my Gawd i would not be able to handle it...i had a bad 2007..it aint over yet...

how do i stay positive? well i made it through treatments and 2 surgeries in 6 months..i may look like crap but hey i am still here..that is one positive thing..

how do i help my son?

when i have alot going on i get quiet and distant myself from everything..i dont mean to it is natural reaction for me..

i just wanted to tell everyone i am okay and still here but not very good company right now cause i have alot going on..

please keep praying..also pray i make it through this without getting too hard and angry..

i have to play more clay videos, with the house having tension it is hard to do that cause my husband and his mother gives me a hard time..

oh well

maybe i shouldnt hit submit with this blog..this is why i havent blogged..too depressing..

take care everyone thankyou for your prayers..

jen-

p.s. i hope clays myspace gets active again cause i felt so happy and my place to escape besides here and i felt like clay is out there..is that dumb? here is my myspace link http://www.myspace.com/bfanglfn

have a good week everyone..