I realized last night that I have a lot of guts to forgive certain people in my life. To just ignore all their sins and treat them the same way I had before. I admit, I didn't know the entire situation of what had happened last year because I wasn't directly involved in it. However, I'm the friend everyone talks to when they need to get things off their chest. I give myself pride in the fact that I have the blessings from God in that I'm open-minded, willing to listen, not judge too quickly, patience, love...I try everyday to be the human God wants me to be, yet I have this feeling that everyone acts differently in front of me to make me happy--because apparently, crushing my world and making me sad is not allowed within my circle of friends. I had a friend tell me last week that she didn't think another friend of mine would treat her nicely because of everything that had happened between the two of them last school year. I kept telling her it would be fine; encouraging her that my best friend wouldn't treat her cruely. After all, we were just going to Wal-Mart to get me a tv. It wasn't like I was forcing either of them to go to church and confess all their sins.(Neither are that much into church and religion in general)All I could do until later that night was keep encouraging both of these friends to put their differences aside to just go on a shopping trip. I was told later that night, as my one friend was confessing that she was paranoid my other friend was out to get her, that no one wants to fight in front of me because I'm the 'happy' friend. Apparently, it's like fighting or being rude to other people in front of little kids. In other words, it seems like in the eyes of my friends, I'm a child that no one wants to make upset. Yes, I am optimistic and happy and loving towards everyone...I do have many child-like qualities. It's why I'm on the path to becoming an early-childhood educator. But, in having this 'I just want everyone to get along' attitude, I've apparently gotten a attitude from my dearest friends I'm not sure I like. I want everyone to be honest with me and act like themselves, but I also want them to respect each other. Apparently, it's a side effect of the sinful nature we all have.

In saying all this, I should probably say what went on last year with my 2 friends in the context of 'Friend 1' and 'Friend 2'. Friend 1 had been sexually assaulted numerous times in her life and I've heard about every one of them due to the fact that I'm her support person. I'm her best friend. Well, Friend 1 decided to tell Friend 2 about the first time she was sexually assaulted- a very personal thing she doesn't tell many people due to the content of it. Friend 2 decided soon after that she was going to post a blog telling her real feelings about what she thought about Friend 1's confession. I had never heard about this blog's real contents until last night, but apparently Friend 2 wrote that Friend 1 deserved to be raped due to the clothes she chooses to wear or because of the fact that she's so liberated as far as her views about sex. Friend 1 was perusing blogs the next day and found this one posted about her (annanamously, of course, not using her actual name) and was crushed...which is why to this day Friend 1 and Friend 2 don't talk. However, Friend 1 is not the only victim. Near this time last year Friend 1 and another friend were supposedly in on a plot to get revenge on Friend 2. They created a new screenname and posted cruel messeges on Friend 2's blog telling her how horrible she was. In my opinion, revenge is so childish and I don't get why anyone does it, unless it's all done in fun or as a joke. Friend 2 apparently went up to Friend 1 and asked her if she had sent anyone after her to get back at her. Friend 1 said no and the two were semi-friends for a while. Early this summer, Friend 2 found out about the whole plot against her and was determined to get away from everyone living within the two apartments across the hall we all had been living in last school year.

I understand that not everyone is as forgiving and understanding as me, but it's been a sad, sad situation. In the words of Clay, "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word" for anyone to say. I can only hope and pray that this all works itself out. I can't make others change their opinions about other people, but I can pray that they just eventually apolagize and move on with their lives.

As for me...I have some thinking and talking to do. I think that in order to continue to be friends with friend 2, I have to know that she realized it was cruel to post the blog about friend 1. What I really need is, "No More Drama!"