I'm really bummed right now, guys. I've always known that I'd never get to see Spamalot, but watching some of the Stage Door videos has made it really hit home. It's one thing to have missed out on going to any of his concerts, but this is something dif

What's worse is that my husband loves Monty Python. This would be the absolute perfect show to go to, if only we could afford it. I don't understand how so many people can afford to go to everything when I would kill just to see him one time. I've had such a rotten year, rotten three years really. I'm so close to being healthy I can taste it, but I've still got to get my surgery. I think I'll be getting it long before he's done on Broadway, and once I have I'd actually be able to withstand a Broadway play. Even without it, I'd probably make it through a play that Clay was in. His voice has been the one thing that has lessened the pain that wasn't a narcotic. It would feel like I was in heaven to just drift away from reality for a couple of hours. It might make stepping back into it not seem so daunting. I know I need to learn to be content with the life I have, but it's really hard sometimes. I have a hard time going into the chat room because I know somebody is going to come in and talk about how good the show was. That's really unfortunate because I usually feel the most uplifted after chatting for a while. It's a definite "catch 22". Do I risk feeling worse so I might feel better? It might help to hear from people who also have never seen him live and won't see Spamalot, just so I can take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone. I realize logically that I could have it a lot worse, but sometimes you just feel like nothing is going your way. That's how I feel right now. I'm sorry if it sounds like I've been whining. I just needed to get my emotions out.

God Bless! Hannah