Updated

I wrote a new song, and there's a pain pump update.

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others. For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness. And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."

Audrey Hepburn

I can't believe that I finally have a solution to the pain problem. Here's some advice to anyone that suffers from chronic pain. A pain pump is a fantastic option. It's a minor surgery with fantastic results. I can honestly say that I have tried everything in an effort to lessen the pain, and this is by far the best decision I have ever made. I have weekly appointments for the next 2 months to try and find a dosage that allows me to leave the oxycodone behind forever. Right now, I'm on the lowest dose possible, so it's not supposed to help right away. But, I can already tell that it's doing something. I'm able to actually do stuff during the day that requires movement, which is a major improvement for me. I'll keep you all posted as things develop.

*Update: I have had three appointments so far, and I'm down to 3 or 4 oxycodone a day. At the next appointment, I'm going to see if the doc can give me codine or something of that sort instead. Mainly, because I think that my body is so used to the oxy that it has absolutely no effect. Also, I think it's time to try something that isn't quite as strong. In regards to the pump, I've gone from the initial 10 mg/day to 18.6 mg/day, and 17.6 mg. on Saturday. I get more medication during the morning and early afternoon, while I'm working. Then on Saturday, I get that during the evening while I'm at church. It really is remarkable how smart the thing is. I'm able to do the things I want to, I'm making money for my family, and I'm happier than I have been in a really long time. I have a new lease on life. I even have the energy to walk home from work everyday. It's fantastic. Thank you to everyone that has prayed for me these last couple of years. They've been answered.

So, I wrote a new song, and I'd like to share it.

The girl inside just wants to be free/ But fear is holding her back/ She looks at herself and all that she sees/ Is everything that she lacks/

Pre-chorus: But you're precious in His sight/ And you can count on Him./

Chorus: He can stop the tears from falling from your eyes/ He knows everything feeling that you've tried to hide/ Child, when it seems the world's not on your side/ He will carry you./

V2 She doesn't feel like she belongs/ And the price of acceptance is high/ She desperately wants to just go along/ Though she knows she'd be living a lie/

Pre-chorus But your Father knows your heart/ And you belong to Him./

Repeat Chorus

Wasting away alone in her room/ In this prison she's made of her life/ Failing in all the roles she assumes/ As daughter, and sister, and wife/

Pre-chorus But you can lay your cares on Him/ And know you're not alone./

Repeat chorus(2x)

Yeah, He will carry you/

Bridge:?

So, that's what I've got so far. I want to add a bridge that sort of sums up how the girl in the song is now much happier and leaning on Christ when life gets hard. I'm having a little trouble with it, as I've always sucked at writing bridges. If you are into song writing, and feel inclined to share your wisdom, I'd be grateful. Thanks.