TGIF everyone! I look forward to Friday for many reasons.

Every Friday after work, I rush home and my son and I go out to eat. We always eat at Subway, it's his favorite. My son is 17 now and he has been taking guitar lessons for 1 1/2 yrs. His dream is to be in a band or maybe have his own guitar store someday. Anyway, after we eat I take him to guitar lessons. This is his favorite day of the week because we have this one on one time. During the driver over and back and he loves his lesson time. During the lesson I like my quiet time, I read my bible in the car.

My son has had a very tough life. My husband and him have never, I mean never got along. It's a long story but when I met my husband he was already signed up for the Army. I was 17 and he was 18, high school sweethearts. We married the same year in November at 18 and 19 years old. Two months later I was pregnant, it was planned. I wanted a baby more than anything. I always wanted to be a mother. My husband of course was more sensible about these things and wanted to wait till we had more money. We were poor and in the Army remember. Well he gave in to me.

My husband had to go to Korea for 1 1/2 years 2 months before our sons 1st birthday. This separation time ruined everything. My son and I became so attached to each other and I became very independent. When my husband came back, my son and him were jealous of each other. They never recovered and it was like a triangle effect.

To make matters worse, my son was always sick as a child and has ADHD and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). My husband could not deal with having a son who had these problems. His temper didn't help matters either. Over the years, I was put in the middle of all their battles with each other. We separated once and he made me miserable and I went back. Big mistake. I should have toughed it out.

Now after all these years of heartache and doing what I thought was best. He has left me. 18 years of marriage, counseling, tears, pain, abuse, he left US. He has moved to Colorado, and he comes home every couple of weeks. This Saturday he will be here. I dread when he comes back because every bit of strength that I have built up seems to disappear. I end up looking like a fool again.

I want so badly to heal completely and be strong. I want my son to see me be strong.

If I could ask everyone who reads this to say a quick prayer for me I would really appreciate it. It's really tough to stay up when he is here.

To those who I was with in chat last night, we had a blast, right? It was a lot of fun girls!