I am home from my trip to Seattle. It was a rough trip, yet beautiful at the same time. It was lovely spending the drive time in the car with my daughter and "Clay". We had fantastic weather the entire trip out and the mountains of Montana were spectacular.

Well, we didn't make it to Seattle in time to see my son before his biopsy. The docs moved the schedule up a day. Fortunately, he made it through the biopsy without too much difficulty.

When we got there (a week ago Tuesday) he was in intensive care with tubes everywhere. He had so many wires and tubes hooked up he was afraid to move.

He was a bit loopy from the morphine and everything was "awesome". The nurses were "awesome", the docs were "awesome", we were "awesome", and even he was "awesome". This 21 year old does not smoke, does not drink and does not do drugs. (A mom's dream, but he had other "difficulties" to cope with when younger). The high of the morphine was quite an experience for him. However, he did not want to be "drugged" and asked the docs to stop the morphine as soon as possible.

His biggest complaint? That darn urinary catheter. He HATED that thing. Said he was grateful he was "asleep" when they put it in. He complained about that more than the tube draining excess fluid from his brain into what he called his "brain bag". Fortunately, the internal shunt they inserted started working enough for them to remove the external drain (and "brain bag") by Friday.

So, although he had been through a good deal, he was doing well and reovering quickly from the brain biopsy. He was up on his feet by Saturday and went for some Physical Therapy before being discharged this week.

His attitude has been positive and so far he has maintained good spirits. Of course, he is anxious and uncertain about his future, but he is going forth with hope. He was so appreciative of all the well wishes and prayers, many of which came from Clay fans.

His tumor was inoperable. The size (as big as an orange) and location (pineal gland, which is deep inside the brain) just made it impossible at this time. He starts radiation therapy today. I just can not begin to imagine what it would be like to have to lie still on the table while someone directs radiation at my brain.

Kyle lived with me throughout his growing up years and has been away from home only the last two years. It has been difficult having him so far away. He was the one who was always a homebody. Him moving out and going to Seattle (which I pushed for) was a huge step for him. It did allow him to "grow-up" and not be so dependent on mom for everything. At times like this though, I hate, hate, hate that I am so far away.

It was so painful to have to leave him there and return home. I don't know when I'll see him again. I have my own health issues and am not working right now. My daughter has been helping me out. I am determined to not get too down about it all though. My son has put things well into perspective for me. He has maintained a positive attitude and I will as well.

Of course, I AM a mom and I will still worry at times, but right now there is nothing I can do but let him know I am here (we talk daily) and I will support him in anyway I can.

I know this has not really been a Clay related post, but Clay's spirit also touches me. Does that count?