Things May Be Looking Up a Bit

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Last Sunday, which was March 9, I was paying some bills online and I noticed that my bank balance was higher than it should have been. After analyzing the situation for a bit, I finally realized I completely forgot to pay my March rent! I have never completely forgotten that before. It just goes to show how stressed out I’ve been feeling lately.

Homestead, the company that owns my building, has a policy that states if you pay your rent after the fifth of the month, you have to pay with a certified cheque or money order. One of the attendants suggested that I go down to the rental office and play ignorant about the policy, so I tried that. I gave my cheque to the person in the office who opened the door for me. She accepted it so I thought I was in the clear. I went back to my apartment and, not more than 15 minutes later, I got a call from someone else in the rental office saying they couldn’t accept my cheque because of the policy. She said she would have my cheque returned to me. I expected to have the cheque in my mail box the next day but it wasn’t there, nor was it in my mail box the day after that. So I thought maybe they’d accepted it after all. I had told the woman who called me that if I had to get a certified cheque or money order it would take a while because I have to get Mobility Plus, etc. She said she would leave a note for the building manager about that. I was hoping that when she mentioned it to him, he would say my cheque was okay after all...but no such luck. I got my cheque returned to me yesterday. I talked to my older sister about the situation and she said that if she were me she wouldn’t make a special trip to the bank just to satisfy their stupid policy. But I don’t want to cause any friction between the building manager and myself, so I will probably get a certified cheque after all. I need to go to the bank soon anyway since my cash flow is depleted. But the whole thing was just one more stressor that I didn’t really need.

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However, this week has had some positives for a change. I had talked to Al last week about whether or not it would be possible to have an attendant do my shopping for me. As far as I knew, if a consumer needs an attendant to help them shop, the consumer is supposed to go along. So I wasn't sure they would just go ahead and get groceries for me. But I thought I'd ask because with all the snow, I have to book rides to get groceries and that just takes a huge chunk out of my day. And that just adds to my stress level. So I asked Al about it and he said they don't like to do that but they will if that's what I need. So an attendant came to get my money on Monday night so she could get my groceries on Tuesday while I was at work. She asked me on Monday if I was going to the meeting on Wednesday about the cruise. I said "What meeting?" She said "Didn't you get your memo?" I said "What memo?" She said she'd look in the office to see if there was a memo for me and there was. The memo said there would be a meeting about a cruise following the "consumer meeting." I knew nothing about the "consumer meeting" either because I didn't get the memo about that either! So I phoned Al about it the next day because there have been so many times in the past where I didn't get a memo about something or other. Apparently most consumers get their memos during the day and I'm not home then. But my being at work when the memo comes out shouldn’t mean that I don't get my memos. Al said there would be a Management Steering Committee (consumer) meeting on Wednesday at 7 p.m. and then the cruise meeting would follow.

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The attendant got my groceries for me that day and that was a big help. She said she'd be going after their 1:00 staff meeting, which would be around 3:00, so I figured she'd be back before I got home from work. But she had to pick up her kids from school somewhere along the line and got delayed so didn't get here till almost 6:00, just a few minutes before another attendant came to do my supper. The one who bought my groceries put everything away for me too, so that was an even bigger help for me. Al said that they'd prefer to limit grocery shopping to a bi-weekly thing because it's more efficient that way but it's hard to know how much to buy for two weeks. And some things, like perishables, don't always last for two weeks. So basically I ended up getting what I usually get. Some of it will last for more than one week and some won't.

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Our consumer meeting went very well. Some of us consumers had some little complaints and at the end I spoke for the Sunday night gang and told Al that some of us would like to participate in hiring new attendants. The three of us had talked about it two weeks ago at our Sunday gathering. So Al asked how many people want to be involved. We had a larger group at the meeting than usual, probably because of the cruise meeting afterwards, and almost everyone there said they want to be involved in hiring. I was really pleased with that because if we want to see changes around here, we need to be involved. So we're setting up a Hiring Committee and each consumer will take turns being part of the hiring process anytime a new attendant is interviewed.

We also talked about cleaning standards at the meeting and somebody suggested that we need "minimum standards." So a few of us are getting together sometime this week to set some minimum standards for cleaning. I will probably cause difficulties at the meeting though because my minimum standards are a lot higher than most other people's! lol

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As for the cruise meeting, some consumers at the "Shamrock Project" (I live at the "Mooregate Project" as we are referred to by the Independent Living Centre) are planning to go on a Caribbean cruise next January. So the meeting was to tell us about it. It sounds like a great opportunity in that everything will be looked after so I wouldn't have to arrange anything myself unless I want to do a tour of one of the islands on my own. The only thing I don't like is that I really don't have anyone to go with. Although Jay and the "other" Al seem to want to go, I don't consider either of them the type of people I'd want to hang around with onboard for a whole week, and "my" Al said he's not going, even though he was born in the Caribbean. So I might feel very much alone in the whole thing and, since I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, I might not do well, especially when I consider how low I've been feeling lately. But, like my older sister said when I called her on Wednesday to tell her about it, I'll never know how it will work out unless I go. So I think I'm pretty much decided on going. So that's something different no matter how it turns out.

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I went for a counselling session yesterday with a different counsellor than I had a few months ago. I think this one will work out waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better, although she mentioned right off the bat too that I only get a limited number of sessions. At first she wanted me to come up with a goal we could work on but when I finished giving a summary of everything I've had to deal with, she said there were so many issues that maybe we shouldn't set a goal yet! lol She mentioned something about not being able to address everything I told her about, but we’d be touching on everything because all of it affects me and I’m the constant in the whole thing, or something like that. Since Fridays are my only days off and next Friday is Good Friday, I don't have another session till Mar. 28.

I was late getting there, thanks to Mobility Plus and the slowest driver ever. I don't mean that he drives slowly. I mean he walks around the vehicle slowly, he buckles us in slowly, sits in his seat slowly, takes the longest routes, etc. Al, one of the guys that I hang out with on Sunday nights, was in the same vehicle and he got dropped off first so I didn't get to my 10:00 appointment till 10:30. She kept me till about 11:15 though so that made up for at least some of the time. My return ride was booked between 11:05 and 11:35, so I was afraid I might have missed it when I didn't get downstairs till 11:15, but I didn't miss my ride after all.

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Last weekend everyone in my building got flyers about a conversational English as a Second Language course being offered at the community centre in this neighbourhood. So I called them and left a message asking if they need a volunteer. They didn't call me back till Thursday but they asked if they could give my number to the person running the course. So they did that and the coordinator called me at work but I was in a meeting when she called so I called her back yesterday afternoon and left a message for her to call me at home.

The coordinator called me back and said that the first session, which was scheduled for today, would be an introduction and would be very informal, just getting to know one another. The coordinator said I don’t have to commit to going every week but I told her that I will probably enjoy it and will probably want to come every week except for next weekend because I’ll be going home to the Falls on Saturday. This ESL class is really convenient because I can drive over there if the weather cooperates. It's just a few blocks away. So that's another thing that could work out positively in some way.

Unfortunately, when I left the building to go to the community centre this afternoon, I saw that there was still a lot of snow everywhere. One sidewalk hadn’t even been cleared at all so in some spots I couldn’t get off the sidewalk and in other spots I coudn’t get back on the sidewalk. So I decided it wasn’t worth risking life and limb to get there. I called the community centre and asked them to let the coordinator of the ESL class know that I couldn’t get there. Hopefully in two weeks some of this snow will be gone and I’l l be able to drive over there.

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I signed up for another Human Resources course this week...Organizational Behaviour. That sounds very psychology-oriented and, since I'm a psychology major, I think I'll enjoy it. It starts in mid-April and goes till July.

On Thursday I had my Women's Group at work. We had a guest speaker come in to talk about Laughter Yoga. It was great! The instructor had a brochure about an upcoming training session and I'm thinking about going. It's an all-day thing, from 9 to 5 or something like that, in April and that sounds like a long stretch to me but I'll contact this woman and ask her what's covered, etc. If I can get trained in it, who knows where that could take me. I just want to take advantage of any opportunities I can get.

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I e-mailed Al the other day to ask if we could do fitness this week or next. I figured that he wouldn't be around this weekend because this is the weekend he has his son. I was hoping we could go yesterday but when we go on Fridays, Al usually suggests 11 a.m. and I had my appointment in the morning so that didn't work. I thought Al wouldn't be available next Friday because it's Good Friday and he’s not working that day but he said he will be available after all so we're going at 11. I really enjoy trying the bike and, of course, I enjoy the time with Al. I don't know if Jay is going to tag along but I hope not, since I won't get to have the kind of conversation with Al that I would if it were just the two of us.

Next Friday I'm also attending the second session of this cooking thing that started last month. I don't know if we'll ever learn anything because Jay's apartment isn't big enough to have us all in the kitchen to observe and help. But at least we get to eat something different from what we normally eat! lol

I was hoping to talk to my new counsellor about next weekend and how I have a knot in my stomach about going home for Easter. I hate the thought of being there knowing that my father's gone and my mother's different. It's just hard for me to know how to handle the whole thing since I'm dealing with my own stuff too. So I wanted to talk to my counsellor about it but didn't have time. I'm thinking that maybe I can talk to Al about it next Friday. I don't know if I need any answers...I just need to talk about how I feel about the whole thing. I was also thinking of calling my younger sister or my mother to see if anyone's having Easter dinner and, if not, maybe I'd ask if my mother and sister want to come here. I doubt they would but if they did I wouldn't have to deal with being in my parents' house knowing my father's not there...no "ghosts." But since my family hardly ever comes up here, I’m sure they won’t want to this time either.

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My new counsellor said that because of all the losses I’ve experienced and everything else that’s been going on, I might be feeling the need for...I forget how she described it but she said something about my possibly needing to have my own sort of family here since I don’t have a lot of close relationships and my family isn’t geographically close and they don’t understand me anyway. I have always felt like that so I was impressed that my counsellor gathered that after just one brief session. Of course I told her about the issues I have with my family and how they just don’t "get it" so I think that’s what led her to think of that. I think she and I are going to get along splendidly.

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bq. St. Patrick's Day

bq. Oh, my mother isn't Irish

bq. And my father isn't too,

bq. But today I feel as Irish

bq. As the really Irish do.

bq. For today I wear a shamrock

bq. That is green in every way

bq. And though I am Canadian,

bq. I am Irish -- for today!

bq. Aileen Fisher

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Thank you for visiting.