Welcome to Joyce and Asti's Blog

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Here I am at long last. I am terrible for neglecting my blog and my friends here at the OFC but I hope you will forgive me. I hope to be here more often in the future.

A while ago, I contacted the student that the Multicultural Centre had assigned to me when I met with the Volunteer Coordinator. I had written in my application that I would not be available until after July 7, so I didn’t think there was any great rush to contact the student. When I talked to him and said that I’d like to set something up for after July 7 and would that be okay, he said yes. Then he said that he already had a tutor. The Volunteer Coordinator had talked to him and I guess she had asked him if I contacted him yet. When he told her that I hadn’t, she went ahead and matched him up with another tutor without telling me. I was not impressed!!! So that experience, along with the negative feelings I had about my initial impression of the Multicultural Centre, has left me thinking I don’t really want to pursue that possibility. I contacted The Working Centre today about volunteering there but the Volunteer Coordinator is on holidays until August 12. That’s okay with me though since volunteering there will likely mean my having to give up part of my free Mondays. So until I get involved with that, my Mondays are still free.

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On June 16, my mother and older sister came for a visit. They arrived at about 12:45 p.m. and had to leave at 4:15, so it was a short visit. Al had said he would help me show them how I do on the bike so I was thinking that I’d get a rough idea of when my mother and sister would be arriving so that I could do most of my workout before they arrived and then show them the bike at the end of my workout. But Al was busy in the morning so he called when he got back to his office and told me to just let him know when my mother and sister arrived and he would just leave the office at that time. So that’s what we did. I had a feeling that my mother and sister would be impressed just by seeing me on the bike. My sister got on the other bike and started pedalling at what would be considered a “normal” speed. A “normal” speed is a speed at which the bike machine will actually start. The machine part measures your heart rate, blood pressure, distance, etc. I have never been able to pedal fast enough to start the machine but that has always been my goal. Well, as luck would have it, when my sister got on the other bike and started the machine, I guess it gave me the extra incentive, impetus, and motivation to pedal as fast as I possibly could and, lo and behold, I started the machine!!! Woohoooo!!!!!!!!!! I actually got up to a speed of 7.11 kilometres per hour! Of course I could only maintain that speed for a matter of seconds, but the point is that I did it!!! On the down side, I hurt my leg in the process. I think I just had a muscle spasm or something but it was not a nice feeling.

After my workout, I asked my mother and sister what they thought of Al. They said he seemed very nice. I then jokingly asked my mother, “Now that you’ve met Al, is it okay if I have sex with him???” I was just joking, of course...well...maybe not entirely! lol I said it because when I told her a while back about going out with “a guy” (meaning Al and the other guys from my building...it just sounded better to say "a guy" rather than "the guys") she jokingly said, “Well, okay, but don’t have sex!” She went on to say that she always tells my younger sister that so she thought she should tell me that too! I thought that was hilarious! So I thought it was only right that day to ask my mother’s permission to have sex with Al. lol She said to go ahead, all the while probably knowing full well that it will never happen anyway. lol

My mother and sister then got busy doing some work for me. They cleaned my windows and the balcony. My mother swept the balcony and said she found a whole pile of cigarette butts in the corner, and a lighter on the table that’s in the corner. She and my sister figured that someone next door reached around the balcony wall and dumped their mess on my balcony and left their lighter on my table. They think it’s someone who’s trying to hide the fact that they are smoking. I think that’s ridiculous if it’s true, because how can a smoker hide their smoking from a non-smoker that they’re living with? I don’t smoke so I can smell smoke on a smoker from a mile away! I don’t have to see the evidence to know that someone’s been smoking. Regardless of the circumstances, I was furious about the idea of someone using my balcony as a dumping ground for their cigarette butts!!!

By the time the windows and balcony were cleaned, it was time for my mother and sister to leave again. My sister said she might come back up for my birthday the following week but she wasn’t sure.

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That night, I wrote my second test for my Organizational Behaviour course. I didn’t really study very much but felt like I knew more of the answers and had more to say for the short answer questions than I did for the first test, but my mark ended up being exactly the same. It was a good mark so I can’t complain.

On Saturday, June 21, I had breakfast and then turned on my computer to check my e-mail. I was looking forward to a day of not having to do anything or go anywhere. But then I read an e-mail from my friend Sue, saying that the Bill Cosby show that night would only be 70 minutes long. I freaked! I had completely forgotten that Sue and I were going to see Bill that night at Centre in the Square, Kitchener’s performing arts theatre. I didn’t have rides booked or anything! I had to call the city bus terminal to find out what bus or buses to take to get there, etc. The show was at 5 so I had to make sure I was ready to leave before 4 p.m. So much for having a quiet day at home doing nothing!

The show was fantastic!!! I was laughing so hard that tears were running down my face. And since I actually had to go to the bathroom near the end of the show, I was surprised I didn’t wet myself with all that laughing!!! You know how it is at my age!!! lol Bill was actually on stage for a full two hours, not the 70 minutes that Sue had been told. The show was well worth the $65 I paid for a ticket! Sue and I talked about it afterwards and we both thought he was funnier this time than he was the last time we saw him. The two-hour laughing session was great therapy for me too!

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On Monday, June 23, I made my presentation at school on gender differences in communication. My presentation turned out to be a lot shorter than I expected because my classmates didn’t really participate at all. I showed them the little exercise I had given to my co-workers and family members and I asked for their input. Only two people commented, and one of those two was the teacher. I thought my topic would generate a lot of discussion since everyone has a story to tell about the opposite sex not understanding them. But nobody really had anything to say and I was very disappointed by that. But the teacher said she enjoyed my presentation so I felt good about that.

The teacher asked us if we wanted to skip the following week’s class because of the Canada Day holiday and the fact that some businesses (including mine) would be closed on the Monday and Tuesday that week. The teacher said it would mean having the final exam, 3 presentations, plus the Personality Dimensions (Canadian version of True Colors) exercise. I would have preferred to have the class the following week as usual and then do only the final exam on July 7 but most people wanted to skip the June 30 class so I was outnumbered and the teacher declared the class cancelled.

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The next day, I talked to Al because I wanted to remind him about my birthday get-together at Swiss Chalet on the 26th. He said he had it written in his book and he’d be there. I mentioned something about his tendency to cancel things and he sounded a bit defensive when he responded that he hadn’t cancelled anything in a while. I told him that it would really mean a lot to me to have him there and he assured me he would be.

On my birthday I went to work and Lorene, who saw on her Facebook page that it was my birthday that day, said Happy Birthday to me. I hadn’t told anyone at work because I saw no reason to make a big deal out of it there. But when Lorene mentioned it, everyone talked about it. By the end of the day, I was whining that I had to work so hard (I had to do payroll stuff which is very challenging since it’s new to me) on my birthday! lol

After work, I went home, quickly changed my outfit, and headed over to Swiss Chalet. My friend Susan had called in the meantime but I didn’t pick up the phone because I was busy getting ready. I had asked her to call me when her ride picked her up, so I’d know when to head over there to meet her. When I got there, Sue and Steve were there with Susan, so at least Susan wasn’t there alone, as I had thought she might be.

There was a foil balloon on the table saying “Happy Birthday Joyce." I figured it was the type of thing Sue would do so I asked her and she said yes. I thought that was really sweet! So I sat with the balloon in front of me during the whole meal. lol

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I had originally invited everyone for 7 p.m. because the two attendants I’ve been hanging out with were supposed to work till 7 that night and then come after that. But after saying they could come, they both told me they couldn’t make it after all, so then I moved the time up to 6 p.m. My friend Jane had said she couldn’t come when it was supposed to start at 7 but when I moved it to 6:00, she said she could come for an hour because she had a meeting at 7. I thought it was great of her to come for a drink before her meeting. The two attendants had since told me they could come after all but that they wouldn’t be there till about 7.

It was after 6:30 and I was beginning to wonder if Al was going to let me down again but, at about 6:45 or so, he arrived. I was thrilled! Unfortunately, I was sitting at the head of the table and could only talk to the people on either side of me, so I didn’t really get a chance to talk to him much. Debbie and Petula showed up just after that. We ordered our meal. I was hoping that my sister would come so I had my cell phone on, hoping I’d get a call from her asking where the Swiss Chalet was. But she didn’t call so I figured she wasn’t coming. But just as I was thinking that, Al said “Your sister’s here.” He recognized her since he met her the week before. I said, “Really?!” And then I saw her walk in. I clapped and said “Yaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!” lol So everyone who I wanted there was there and the whole thing turned out really well.

Al had to leave at about 8:30 but he told me that when I invited him so that was fine. Other people started to leave after that and then it was just Susan (who had to wait for her ride which was picking her up between 9:20 and 9:50), my older sister, and myself. My sister was really tired and wanted to get home before she got too tired to drive back to Toronto. When Susan’s ride came, my sister came back to my place for a few minutes. She commented that Al really is sweet (he was sitting beside her or in the next seat) and that, although she could never understand why I was nuts about the last guy, she could see why I’m nuts about Al. It was nice to hear that. Then my sister left. It was a great night and I was hoping it would be a sign of better times to come.

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The next day, we had another cooking/eating club thing. Belinda, the attendant who is paid to do this for us, decided to have it at her place so we could have a barbecue. I didn’t know where her house was so I looked it up on Mapquest and headed over there after work. Al was already there with Jay and the other Al and Steve. Belinda’s daughter Chloe, who I think is 8 years old, helped her mother with hostess duties and she was amazing! She’s really sweet and she seems to be just generally a really good kid. I ended up thinking that if I’d ever had a daughter, I would have wanted her to be like Chloe.

The evening started out really well but then Belinda’s boyfriend and two neighbours joined us for supper. It seemed like Al knew a lot about Belinda’s neighbourhood goings-on so he could participate in the discussions but the rest of us just sat there looking on. I didn’t like that at all. And apparently Belinda wants to have barbecues at her place for the next few cooking/eating club things, so I’m imagining they will all include her boyfriend and neighbours. Don’t get me wrong..they were all nice people. I just felt like the conversation was all about them and their neighbourhood and I didn’t have anything to contribute to the conversation. None of the guys said much either so I think we all felt the same way. I guess it just means that Belinda has the “home court advantage”when she has these things at her house, just like I liked having the “home court advantage” when I was having the guys over to my place on Sunday nights.

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I didn’t have to work on the following Monday, nor did I have to go to school that night. I didn’t have to work on the Tuesday (Canada Day) either, so the four-day weekend was a nice break for me. I didn’t do anything! lol Oh, no, wait a minute. I’m wrong. I had to study for my final exam the following week, so I did do something! lol But I didn’t spend the whole weekend studying so it felt great to be able to relax a bit.

I wrote my final exam on July 7. The teacher marked our exams while we did the Personality Dimensions exercise, so we had that mark plus our final mark before we left the class that night. I got 88% on the exam and 93% as my final mark. Not too shabby!

So now my Mondays are free and it feels great to have my Mondays off without having to go to school. I think I’m going to take a break from taking courses so that I can focus on some other things...like getting some sort of volunteer or paid teaching position, just to add that dimension to my life, and possibly joining a choir or getting involved in singing in some other way.

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Other than that, I am still going to the exercise room with Al whenever he can do it, but it’s not often enough. And sometimes Al asks another attendant to come along which means I don’t enjoy it as much. Several weeks ago he asked an attendant to come along and showed her how to tie my feet to the different machines, etc., and then he left. I was really disappointed because when I ask him if he has time to work out with me, I assume he is going to work with me, so I look forward to it. I know he doesn’t have to do it at all and I should be grateful for the opportunity to go over there even once in a while, but it’s still a let-down for me when I can’t have a heart-to-heart talk with him while I’m working out. And I know that if he doesn’t work out with me, I might not see him at all, since we don’t go out as a group anymore.

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I talked to him two weeks ago about working out and I told him that I don’t think of him as being interchangeable with an attendant. I told him I like the way he helps me, I like the way he encourages me, I like the workouts themselves and, what may be equally important or even more important is that I like the talks we have while I’m working out. I told him those talks are good for me, especially when we talk about God and about life and death and what it all means. The talks are also good for me because they take my mind off of the actual physical stuff I’m doing. We had a really good talk but we got interrupted by his cell phone ringing and by the fire alarm going off.

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At first, we both thought that the fire alarm people were just testing our system, as they do once a month. But when I thought about it, I realized I hadn’t seen the usual notices posted around the building about a test being done that day. That’s when Al said he thought it might be a real fire, since they usually announce that they are doing a test and there was no announcement this time. Then Al’s phone rang and when he saw the number displayed on his phone, he said he needed to take the call and could we continue our conversation later. I said okay, knowing we probably wouldn’t be finishing the conversation until the next time we go for a workout.

Those of us in wheelchairs are to remain in our apartments when the fire alarm goes off so that’s what I did. I’ve gotten used to the fire alarm being pulled for no reason or for minor things, so I wasn’t worried. But, as it turned out, there was a real fire on the 5th floor (I’m on the 2nd floor). The fire alarm was ringing for quite a while so it was a relief when the noise finally stopped. The attendants are supposed to call us to tell us that everything’s okay afterwards, so they did and that’s how I learned that it was a real fire.

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I took Asti to the vet a few weeks ago to get her anal glands expressed. She’s had anal abscesses before so I like to get her glands expressed regularly in hopes that will reduce her chances of having further problems with abscesses. It was high time for it because I haven’t taken her in since November. The following Saturday, I noticed that Asti was shaking her head a lot. By Monday, I saw that her one ear was swollen so I was almost sure she had another aural hematoma. She had one in her other ear last fall so I knew what it looked like. So when I saw her in her carrier on that Tuesday after work, I closed the door to the carrier and called the vet. They could fit her in at 5:40 so off I went with Asti to the vet...again. The vet took her to the back and drained her ear using a needle, removed a polyp, and cleaned both ears, and we were ready to go home again. Several days later it was clear that the hematoma had returned so I brought Asti back to the vet. This time a different vet worked on her and lanced the hematoma so that more of the blood/fluid could drain from it. By the end of last week I could tell that Asti’s ear was swollen once again.

I phoned the clinic to see if it would do any harm to wait for several days before bringing her back in. I had made plans to go to Niagara Falls last weekend and I would have had to cancel my plans if I’d had to bring Asti back to the vet. The clinic told me it wouldn’t do any harm to wait for several days.

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So I went ahead with my plans to go to the Falls. I spent all of last week being sad about the idea of going home and being all too aware of my father’s absence, not to mention the fact that my last uncle in the Falls passed away a few weeks ago. So now my father and the three brothers he came to Canada with (he has one brother left in Holland) are gone. But my brother from Texas was visiting and the rest of the family came for supper on Sunday so there was a lot going on to distract me from thinking about my father. I had a one-on-one conversation with my older sister and that doesn’t happen very often so it was great. I also had one-on-one time with my brother from Texas so that was great too. All in all it was a good trip, all things considered.

My mother wants all of us to come home for the weekend of August 24, which would have been my parents’ 60th anniversary. She wants us all to go to church and then to the cemetery and have a barbecue for supper that night. I’m sure it will be an emotional day for my mother and that means it will be difficult for me too, since I hate to see my mother upset. But we will get through it. My mother also mentioned that she has already arranged for a memorial Mass on November 30, my father’s (and yes, Clay’s!) birthday. Memorial Masses are usually held on the anniversary of a person’s death but I guess my mother wants to commemorate the day my father was born rather than the day he died, which was 8 days after his birthday.

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I took this week off as vacation and it’s been nice to have time to just laze around, read, and play. I talked to Al on Wednesday about possibly doing fitness sometime this week since I was off anyway. He said that since one of the consumers in the building died earlier in the week, the funeral might be held on Friday which would mean he wouldn’t be available on Friday but he said he might be able to work out with me today and that he would confirm it with me on Friday. I was hoping he’d call but I wasn’t counting on it so I phoned his office to check with him but I guess he had already left for the day. So I called him on his cell phone after supper last night. He sounded like he was in the middle of something so he asked if he could call me back in a bit and he did. We confirmed going for a workout today at 10. I asked him if he’d need a reminder because he has admitted that he’s very forgetful. He said he didn’t think he’d need a reminder and he was right. He was here on time and we went to the exercise room.

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There was someone in the exercise room when we got there so I didn’t want to talk to Al on that heart-to-heart level that I do when we’re alone. After the guy left, another one came in. After he left, Al and I got into a really good chat and I didn’t want it to end so I kept working out and working out! We were over there for 1.5 hours! The sweat was dripping from my neck and the back of my hair was all wet.

During our conversation, Al mentioned that if he had access to a wheelchair accessible vehicle that would carry several people in wheelchairs, he would take us to Grand Bend, a beach somewhere not too far from here. Now, I am not crazy about beaches but, to be perfectly honest, I’d go to the ends of the earth with Al! Yes, I’ve got it really bad for him!!! lol And if we did go to the beach, I know he’d find a way to make me comfortable with the whole idea. Yes, I know...dream on Joyce! lol

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I really need to find a way to go to the exercise room more often because I decided last weekend that I was going to concentrate on eating less and losing weight. I can lose weight by eating less but I’d lose more if I could work out more. It would be great to work out about three times a week. So I’ll have to see what I can do about that. I told Al I’d like to go over there several times a week and he said he could continue working out with me about twice a month. After our talk a few weeks ago, I’m sure he knows I don’t want to lose that quality time with him.

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Other than that, I have been considering the idea of going to Las Vegas by myself. I’m not good at going anywhere alone but I really want to see Donny and Marie Osmond there. They were there from July 16 to 23 and all shows were sold out, but they are going to be back in September for a six-month run. And I’d only need an extended weekend to go there. And since I’ve already been there, it wouldn’t be totally new to me so that might help me feel a bit more at ease. Aside from feeling uneasy about going alone, I’d also feel uneasy about having nobody around if something happens to me and I need help. So I’m going to give it some thought. I do have a nephew who lives there with his wife so I’m sure they would help me if I needed it. But I guess I’m realizing that if I have to depend on someone else to go places with me, I might never get anywhere. And this would be good practice for when I go on the cruise in January. After all, even though I’m going with a group, I don’t really know any of the others in the group, except for Steve and Al #2 so, in a sense, I’m going alone then too.

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My older sister suggested that I just find someone, perhaps an attendant, who would be willing to go with me if I pay half of their expenses. Normally, if I go through the Independent Living Centre and arrange to have an attendant come with me on vacation, I’m responsible for all of their expenses. But who can afford paying for their own vacation plus someone else’s??? But sometimes a consumer and an attendant make their own arrangements and they cut a deal. So we’ll see if that will work. My sister also suggested that I look into hiring someone who can help me around here now and then with the odd chore that the attendants aren’t required to do, so that my life can be simplified a bit. I’m going to give that some thought. I might have to pay someone to go to the exercise room with me too. If I could pay an attendant to work with me for an hour three times a week, that would be great.

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I am not doing much of anything this weekend even though Monday is a holiday (Civic Holiday) for most offices. I go back to work on Tuesday but I really wouldn’t mind having another week off! Maybe I’ll book some extra days off when I go home for the 24th.

And that brings you all up to date on the latest news in my life. Thank you all for stopping by and keeping tabs on me.

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