I did a little research and found the following on a hidden website available only to music reviewers. The site exists to assist critics in meeting their deadlines. Luckily, I was able to hack the site and found the template for Clay.

Multiple choice Clay Aiken CD review template Directions: Choose the selection that best completes each of the following statements.

Clay Aiken has a new album coming out. a. The fans will love it. b. It is full of cheesy power ballads c. The lyrics are cliché d. He doesn't write his own songs e. All of the above

Clay's voice is: a. annoying b. too big c. too smooth d. too perfect e. all of the above

As a whole, the album is: a. geared to the AC market b. geared to Claymates c. overproduced d. uncool e. all of the above

As for myself, I find Clay to be: a. cheesy b. lax in his commitment to the President's Committee c. an American Idol loser d. *!@ e. All of the above

I hate this album because: a. the songs are sloooow songs b. the songs are inspirational songs c. the songs are love songs d. Clay sings on it e. All of the above

This album will: a. not get radio play b. make you vomit c. be useful as a coaster d. be useful as a mirror e. all of the above

You should: a. ignore it b. buy someone else's way cooler album c. eat dirt d. download tracks 1 and 5 e. move on because I've got my head up my a$$