A dear friend said to "be brave." Okay...being brave!!

As Always

Here I am, as always, Metaphorically, invisibly, behind you, Beside you, with you. Sometimes if you glance this way, you might catch a glimpse of me, But wait, you already did.

Here I am, as always, Running with the current, Wherever your river sweeps me. Yes, I know how the river feels, As I am submerged yet again in its depths I have gotten good at going with your flow, Sometimes floating serenely in the sunshine, Sometimes swept along far too quickly, Dunked and bruised and snagged by brush along the river bank. And just when I think I am through, Surfacing and seeing you.

Here I am, as always, while you are not. You are somewhere else, out there, Watching the stars in the sky alone, without me, Or are they cookie cutter stars we see? Hard to tell really, what is the truth, and what I believe, Communications lost and tossed, And passing time has blurred the lines, of all the times I thought I saw you lurking.

Here I am, as always, Truth be told, what do I hold? Autograph, photograph, printed document, framed, Many times shared and cherished, And one vivid, vermillion moment when time stopped that is etched indelibly on my heart. Enough? It should be. A reality that bested fantasy. And it only takes one smile to remind me, Of why I can not ask for more. Why then do I still search to see, the truth that you keep showing me.

Here I am, as always. And “could be it's all just a waiting game” now? And the measure of the man I remember will find me again somewhere downstream. My only fear is sometimes rivers don’t empty into the sea. They tumble over waterfalls instead. And I need to find my sea. I need to find you.

The confusion of this poem is the confusion of my heart. And the timeline of our journey, our survival, our story, Is just as this poem...with no ending. Only longing and searching and holding fast, and being here, right here! Here I am, as always.

~Mamarose