It is so hard to believe that his is my 50th chapter of telling you about my life,

As I looked back on my earlier stories, I realize, that indeed life was VERY exciting and productive When one reaches my age, the excitement seems to decrease, but strange as it may seem , the desire for LIFE to continue grows even stronger. We are all not dumb enough to think we will last forever, but something makes us wish it never ends - at last not yet.

And so,I will continue with some events both wonderful and sad.

Angie's younger daughter, Marie decided to get married on the anniversary of her father's passing. So two years later, January 1st, 2005, she married a super guy she had known for a long time. Both had children from one previous marriage each, and it was so nice to meet some of them. Marie looked beautiful as she walked down the aisle on the arm of the families favorite Doctor of Medicine, a Cardiologist who cared for both of her parents. He was SO honored, it was quite a charming moment.

Angie never looked so wonderful. Her hair was beautiful and her gown perfect. She was one happy lady surrounded by her two daughters, their families and their children. Yes, there was a tiny bit of jealousy on my part, I guess, but my happiness for Angie chased it away.

Strange as I remember those who sat at our table not so long ago. Friends made here in our Village (eight to be exact ) and today in the year 2008, only four of us remain. It brings reality up in front of our existence, and once again we have to acknowledge the true meaning of life.

As I have written before, 2005 was a year of supreme happiness and ugly pain what with becoming 80 years old, and then breaking my left arm in such a way that I will never again have full use of it. Having to stop my creative activities was the most difficult, I think. I had a house literally filled with hug plastic boxes containing materials accumulated over many years - yet to be formed into unique bouquets of silk flowers or patterns to be painted n soft towels and Christmas or Southwest placemats with matching napkins with ceramic napkin holders.

Needless to say, I only had ( and still do in many instances) just a pathway from room to room. Slowly, over the past few years, as I sold new books, clothes never worn, and art "sets" the boxes were emptied. I sold some at our yearly swap meet, gave some to charity, and even gave away materials for children at the local elementary school. As I work today, I can SEE my piano! Joy or joy! Who knows, I may even get to play it again.

Angie required different Doctor appointments, and of course a ride for food shopping.I spent as much time as I had (which was now more than ever) to take her where she needed to go. She was one who was very appreciative and always slipped me money or took me to a very nice lunch.

We were still having our "birthday" foursome and planning the next one for Angie on Aug.9th for her 86th! Whenever she wanted to eat at her favorite Olive Garden to treat me we also included mutual friends, and decided to go in mid-July, 2006. GOD, that woman loved food. She just got an okay from one of her many Doctors, and we watched her have a second helping of soup and salad.

Two nights later, I received a frantic phone call from Marie saying her mother had a very bad stomach pain and was meeting her at the hospital. It seems she had a hernia near her stomach (told not to worry about it) which burst. They operated right away, and she was in a critical state. Her daughter never left her side and when Angie woke up could not speak because of the tube down her throat. They consulted the Cardiologist by phone, who after consulting her doctors at the hospital, said not to do anything else. A couple of nights later, I received a call from Marie who told me the tube was removed since she wanted to talk, had Marie call me, and she said in a soft whisper, not to worry, she will still make it to 100, and that she loved me. She was taken that night to hospice where she passed away quickly.

Please do not think me strange. At the funeral, her daughter gave me a wooden heart that Angie left for me which says: "friends are forever" and I have it hanging in back of my bed. I talk to her every night. I miss her more than words can describe. I lost my confidant when my sister died so many years before, and my last confidant left me on that day in July,2006.

For those of you who have someone special you can share your innermost thoughts with, be it family or friends, rejoice that you do. You will never know how empty one's heart can get without it. My friends on OFC, and in our own little Clay group as well as my African Grey special friends all living in my computer have helped fill the void. My son "has no time" to hear about my admiration for Clay, and my one last friend will not even allow me to say his name (or if she does, she becomes quiet and stern) - and I am not dumb, so I just reply when I think it is appropriate. I do like her very much as a friend and I pray she lives a long time. It is nice to have someone beside me as I drive, and she definitely has helped without her knowing it, by being my friend. With so many of my friends gone, she has been a blessing, believe me.

So, I talk to Angie (wish she could talk back) and IT HELPS.

Life has become routine now. I have therapy to help me walk better (only 16/year are allowed by Medicare), so we stretch it out. I get my hair done every other week, and go food shopping at least once a week with Frances. Thank goodness, I do not have that many Dr. appointments, but am there for my friend as she needs me. It breaks up the week.

I also LOVE to play difficult games and I have a few to keep my mind working. There are not that many for a Mac, but those I have are super. So, I cheat - when I should be cleaning toilets, I go to my computer and play a game.

My roommate is also a joy although I do not spend as much time as I should with her. When the weather gets cooler, we will sit on my patio and I will hold hr (she cannot fly, thank goodness) and wants me to keep petting her while we sit and look at the sky. We used to have more trees with birds, but no longer, which is sad. She liked to hear them and when I have Animal Planet on, she will often return birds singing with her own calls. Kinda cute! Oh, she is an African Grey bird.

As my story slowly comes to the present day (next chapter), I will describe the three times I saw Clay in concert and how something ALWAYS happened in each. Thank goodness that I own binoculars.

As I close this one, I want to thank all of you who have been reading my story, and for all those who think enough of us who cannot go often to concerts, shows, or whatever, bring to us all wonderful videos. My computer is filled from AI-2 to the present including Clay's inspiring words. I am so glad he has brought his talent, intelligence, his wit and his love for children as well, for all his fans to enjoy.

My love to you all, Marian

With the help of a dear friend you MAY see a picture of my African Grey - maybe.

If you read "Caro's" comment you will see my "baby" bird!