When writing this story of mine - now not then

When writing this story of mine - now not then - do I realize that when my father said: "Marian takes care of herself", do I realize that indeed he was right.

During those years leading up to 1990 when Gordon and I visited out friends in Arizona, I tackled every problem as it came my way. I really do not remember being depressed in any way, but remember doing what my father used to do: sit and think it through. Many times I could not sleep as events ran through my mind, over and over. Especially when a problem came up and I had to figure out how to resolve it. Then suddenly I would think of a solution. get out of bed, write it down, and then fall back to sleep. I did this often while running our studio as well. Kinda strange, but that is very true - I WAS my father's daughter. He did the same thing.

The year after Gordon's operation, he called to tell me he bought a baby bird - a Red Lory to keep him company. Almost immediately after he arrived and was settled in, he got that wonderful job with Geordie Hormel - I think I already told you about that. But outside of the studio, he made a few friends, and indeed needed a "roommate". I told him that I would LOVE to have such a roommate, and during my next visit, we went to the breeder's and I picked out the most gorgeous baby bird called a Conure, a Junday Conure. She had a yellow head which went into many colors and ended in a long tail mostly shades of blue. She was 6 weeks old. I had to learn how to feed a baby, and before I left for Mass., we bought a cage and a carrying cage. Adding that big box to my luggage was quite difficult, but we did it. One of Gordon's friends picked us up - but oh that plane ride!

I had a good seat with no one in the middle and she slept during the movie. But after that she did many baby cries! I was so embarrassed! I went to the back of the plane and sat with the airline gals and they were very kind to us both. As time went by, I flew many miles back and forth with GOLDIE - that was her name. She was always so good, one time one of the girls put wings on her carrycage.

Working with the two gentlemen (both "Masters") was long and hard. The longer I worked, the more in demand I was. But I WAS getting older and the long drives were getting to me. I drove my husband's "new" '85 Suburu wagon which he had bought a few months before he died. he got a great price for it since it was a "lot" car and it was loaded, too. When I went to the Lake in the summer which was a two and a half hour drive, I enjoyed the quiet with Goldie and the couple our age but I began to see that the finances were not working out.

So, in November of 1990, Gordon and I left our birds at a "bird motel" (it was super, too!) and flew to Arizona. Now, I am NOT kidding you. I thought that this state was all desert with sand all around and camels roaming about. WRONG!

The place we visited was a brand new "Resort" style community. The shuttle brought us to their home (the first one that was built as a single family home), and Gordon and I had separate beds in their guest room. The house was lovely. We went to a great barbecue and met many people who lived in Condos already built. We saw the Olympic size pool, and a gorgeous ballroom already built. When we saw the layout of this place, we realized it was barely 1/4 built. We were shown diferent kinds of Condos not yet built - a little more elegant but still very small, and "patio" homes built in another area. Each area had a name, but little or nothing built yet.

My son and I made an agreement we would not buy anything - that lasted ONE day. The sales girl was that good. She brought us to the other side of the complex not yet developed, but areas were marked out. There were four models, and of course, we decided to have the best one built. We ONLY saw it on paper - not the actual building. But we trusted.

I always had my budget printed out with me, and we put on paper the approximate value of all that I owned (with actual estimates from those who knew about such things). On paper I would be in great shape by selling the Camper, my furnishings auctioned off and the sale of my home. I left my friend a deposit and he would act as a substitute power of attorney on my behalf and pay when the building (6 condos on each side - called a 12-plex) was completed.

We planned to have Gordon be co-owner. Each one of these new Condos had a 25' patio,with vaulted ceilings inside and a bay window overlooking the open part of the patio. One-fourth of the patio was covered and lead to the one door. There was a large window in the smaller bedroom and a large window in the Master bedroom which was beyond the patio.

I went home and started to make plans in motion to find movers, and try to sell some of the items in a local ad. As the walls went up, measurements were sent to me and to my dismay all I could bring were two bookcases and my console piano. NONE OF MY FURNITURE WOULD FIT IN THIS SMALL PLACE.

Suddenly, I discovered that I had Nerves! I looked around and nearly had a fit. What do I bring? The movers charged by the box. I had some of Gordon's things, and many memories from the studio, as well as my huge elephant and "around the world" doll collection. I had my "good" China dishes (not used since Mel's death). I had wedding gifts of value. And, I had to find the money to pay for this. Then suddenly I remembered - I had to sell the Lake Condo as well.

Now, for the first time, panic set in - but hard. I no longer went to Conventions and started to slow down my work schedule. How could I pack boxes by myself? What happens to important negatives? My mind was a whirl.

Then I got a call in 1991 that I MUST go to the Mass. Convention. I said I was too busy, but they told me they were honoring Mel. Well, for that, I would go. But I said only for the banquet - an overnight stay. I brought Goldie with me (she was a quiet bird) and put the "do not disturb" sign on the door the entire stay. I took her in her carrying cage with me to eat, and fed her some food as I sat in a corner, only to find out that it was just fine.

At the banquet, I sat with long time friends, and started to get suspicious seeing some who had not been around for awhile. Then came speeches. The older men (older than me, that is) had retired, were honored with Lifetime Memberships. Aha! SO THAT WAS IT! Yup, they kept me for last, listed what I had done for the organization and mentioned Mel and handed me the framed certificate. I made a short speech and for the first time announced that I was planning to move the first of '92., to Arizona. I took advantage to say I still had some valuable things from the studio, and THAT was a smart move.

But it did not end there.I had the same thing happen at the New England Convention, and the representative (a longtime friend of our) from the National said I would be getting the same honor from PPA. I told her I could not attend that convention, but they sent it to me and I still am listed in all three as an active Photographic Business Consultant. They are here on my wall of plaques.

Now came the tough times - worse than I ever anticipated. Preparing to move, buying a new "home" where the kitchen, dining room area and living room was as big as MY kitchen alone! I had to figure out new large purchases for sleeping, eating, you name it. My nightmare came slowly but surely.

Yes, I will share it all with you, and yes, it is STILL a nightmare. I had no idea after this awful year that waiting for me in my new community there would be a light at the end of a very dark long tunnel.

Next chapter: THE NIGHTMARE!

Thanks for reading, and yes, there is MUCH MORE.

MARIAN