Clay's Hair

Can't think of any topic in the fandom that has created more controversy, angst and pages upon pages of debate. The question is why? What is it about his hair that makes us simultanously gnash our teeth and long to run our hands through it?

To answer that question, I think we first need to define what hair is and so I went to my trusty Funk and Wagnells:

Hair: Thread-like structures found on the skin of mammels consisting of the following components:

Shaft Root Erectile Pili Muscle Sebaceous Gland Root Sheath Follicle Bulb Papilla (a small nipple-like process of connective tissue) fat cells.

Interesting that some of these components can also be applied to other, ahem, parts of the body and on one Mr. Clay Aiken, that can be a good thing!

But I digress; amazing that one little strand of hair can have all these components, multiply it by thousands and arrange artfully on Mr. Aiken's cranium and um...

Hand begins to twitch and imagines fingers running from the shaft to the roots of said strands, ending in a soft massage of the erectile pili muscle and....

What, oh sorry, back to topic...So given the above evidence, I conclude that angsting over a particular style or color of Mr. Aiken's hair shafts is counterproductive to the good it inspires...now if more evidence is needed, I will be happy to continue my research. I do believe I need to study the papilla more closely.

BTW, there is a research assistant position open, if anyone is interested in helping me out (scientifically, of course)