It is going to be the little things that get to me when I least expect it I think.

First, we finished cleaning out my mom's apartment yesterday. It was easy at first to picture her still there, sitting in her chair, asking us if we were lost when we came in.... but little by little we took her stuff out....the things that were hers, her cardinal collection to her clothes. And then..

it was empty...

and we shut that door for the very last time on what used to be my mother's home....and a few tears were shed.

As we left, the people who worked there told us how much they thought of her and how much they missed her.

Then I brought just a few things of hers home....I already had two beautiful new plants I brought from the funeral and a couple cardinals, an angel...I brought home some lamps, an end table, some more angels....and you know what? A funny thing happened ...I put her things around, they joined the plants, the other things already here. and I looked around. My once pretty generic ranch home, suddenly felt cozy, suddenly felt like a HOME...the transformation was astounding.....

Well this morning, I am going through all the blank cards she had my sister get her so she would have them to send out for anniversaries....I missed her card on ours this year!!! she died only 4 days before!

I just got to the graduation cards...and i LOST it.....My son graduates this year and my mom will not be here. It hurts....My heart breaks at such little things, which in all reality aren't little at all.....

I never knew this could be so hard....

I do want to thank everyone for all of your prayers and thoughts, your notes and even some cards I got! and to the Bolt Babes for the wonderful plant they sent that is now in my home!!! every single gesture was appreciated and is now in my heart!!! Thank you all!!!!!!

joy