FIRST-some GREAT news! I had my latest 6 month checkup yesterday. The exam was 'perfect' and the bloodwork 'wonderful'!! I am so so grateful, I cannot begin to tell you. Its a strange way to live your life, in these incremements on months at a time, waiting to hear if you are okay for a few more. Its scary. Some days its quite difficult...but it has also been a blessing in disguise. I have met so many wonderful new people and have been blessed to be involved in so many things like Relay. I have been able to LIVE! To enjoy myself....to do things I would never ever have done before...like the obvious....fly to see Clay. Kayla and I were BLESSED with being able to do that for Houston and Tulsa. Again, I can never find the words to really describe the experience. To see old friends, and make new ones is invaluable. To see Clay live is such an incredible soul fulfilling experience. I can never get enough. I have the opportunity to see him at the California 4-fer. I have someone who would pick us up at the airport in LA, drive to each concert and back to LA for the return home. I have someone who will offer us tickets first for these concerts. BUT my heart is absolutely breaking....it is only 3 weeks away. And since I quit working to be here with Jamie, there really is no extra $. No credit card to put tickets on, no money in the bank. It is SO HARD. I am so very grateful for the two we went to and I KNOW that there are those who can't go at all and that makes me feel badly for them. But truly it is so hard with it so close...so attainable..except for the lack of money...so it is adding to my post concert let down....right now it almost physically hurts..crazy huh? I am writing through tears. The one place I wanted to see Clay was the Greek and I can't even explain why...maybe it is going to be even more magical than the others. I just don't know!

Anyhow, attending the preparties and being amongst all the Clay fans from the boards was an interesting experience......it is like everyone stayed with their neighborhood. Definite groups....but it is like you stay with your friends obviously....I missed meeting a lot of people. I know they were with others from their home boards....me, I may visit a few, but feel very much like an outsider to most...I equate it with best friends vs acquaintences. I did realize, I really do have a home board too. The people I am closest to, and know the most of. Although I go in to lurker mode sometimes there and even don't always feel I really belong it is the closest thing to 'my' neighborhood for me.

I have been watching clack and downloading like crazy....its fun, sad, exciting to relive our two nights with clay!

Oh and Kayla finally got that hand touch in the line!! I still pray for that meet and greet for her someday!

thanks for reading if you still are!

hugs to all