Is it possible at 43 ( just 2 weeks into being 43) to feel like you are in middle school again. Complete with body issues, acne and wanting to cry because you feel like all your friends have out grown you or you have out grown them.

Wow - that is a full run on sentence. Let's try and digest that one.

Okay, moving on. Had a session with my therapist this morning. Explained the above feeling.

The women that I have been close to for many years don't seem to be wanting to participate in my life anymore. One has become so involved in running, training for a marathon - this is all she talks about. I understand that it is good to have hobbies and goals. It crossed the line into "obsession". We used to have so much in common, things to talk about... why did she need to change so much? She goes to my church.

Another friend ( also from church ) is having a "mid-life crisis" at 37. She married young and has a wonderful, supportive husband and 2 great kids. Yet she is spending time drinking what I think is way too much and hanging out in a bar. I love this woman like a " younger sister" and our friendship is based on telling each other what we honestly think. Blunt or not. I told her she was acting like an "ass" and needed to get into therapy. She agreed - but I have not heard from her since.

One woman I met while young son was in pre-school, the boy's became friends but they have grown apart. Developed different interests. Happens. When we talk....she is competitive and tells me how "her son is taller than my son" "her daughter has won this award" . She lost this much weight... I don't need to feel bad about myself or the accomplishments of my children. Especially since I have one with special needs anyway. We are in entirely different worlds. She is the "epitomy" of a person that will never "get it".

The last one...A mother in the school system. We used to car pool together and she got annoyed that I cancelled on her... if a child was sick or other things. To my defense I still arranged to have her children picked up. Over the holidays last year I got a scathing email from her attacking me. I have since held her at arm's length but tried to mantain a " mom-type friendship". I go away with for a "mom's weekend' every September and we invited her to come along. She never gets the chance to do this sort of thing. I don't want her along this year. She does not return my phone calls.

I am so tired of being an "emotional punching bag".

Do I end up feeling sad all the time or just cut my loses? Do I just accept them for who they are and try again? Do I pray to make new friends? Friends who will support and encourage me? I have become so negative and miserable... my family doesn't deserve a mom who feels sad all the time. Husband tells me find new friends because I have alot to give. I am beginning to doubt this. I don't know what I have to give anymore.

Any advice you could give me I would appreciate. I'm tired of being so down all the time. My husband is tired of seeing me down all the time.

Well atl least I got all of it out. Feel a bit better already. I think I will just concentrate on counting my blessings. That includes my friends here.....

God Bless.

Barb