While I was still trying to figure out why anyone would think it newsworthy that Clay is taking a vacation from his vacation, making him out to be something of a liar in the process, and thinking that given a choice between a "proper" vacation and an "improper" vacation, the improper one sounds a lot more fun, what comes along but THE LETTER.

THE LETTER is the missive signed by Clay that accompanies the package sent to people upon joining the official fan club. It might be called the welcome letter, standard fare for fan clubs, except I hesitate to use either welcome or letter to characterize it.

The reaction of fans around Claydom:

He loves us. He hates us.

He loves the boards. He hates the boards.

He so 'gets' us. He so doesn't 'get' us.

It's so snarky. It's so hostile.

He's talking to us as if we're his friends. He's talking to us as if we're his enemies.

He wants to start a conversation with us. He wants us to shut up and do as we're told.

He's sorry to have left us twisting in the wind. He's sorry he has to tell us anything.

He wants us to have information we can count on. He wants to control what information we get and when.

It sounds just like him. (a good thing) It sounds just like him. (a bad thing)

It vade mecum(1). It did? Did we get the same letter?

I love it. I hate it.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.(2)

It matters not the intention nor what Clay voices people hear in their heads. When something ostensibly intended to communicate evokes this range of interpretation, as well as a healthy dose of WTF(3) and head scratching, it has failed to communicate.

This is why GOD made PUBLICISTS.

One of the best of which said recently, "Is he really going to try to do this communication thing without any help?"

Clay.

When I said, "Use YOUR Voice?"

I meant for singing.

What I would love to hear Clay sing on the JBT: Personal Jesus

One question I will ask Clay when I win the truth serum contest: Did you or did you not have your teeth veneered for American Idol?

(1) Jemock's Patented Vocabulary-Builder Word of the Day: For the Clay Fan with Superior Intellect and Overactive Saliva Glands. (2) Cool Hand Luke, 1967. (2) What the Frankenfugly. What did you think???