January 2, 2008. Clay was at home looking closely at the computer screen and laughing as Jaymes walked by. She stopped, turned, and went into the room, asking, “What’s so funny, Clay? I thought you were just sending some Christmas gift thank you e-mails.”
Clay chuckled, “Oh, you caught me. I was just lookin’ at some clack and some pictures I downloaded. Sort of reminiscing about 2007, I guess. Hee, there were some fun times, I’ve gotta say! A whole world of difference from 2006!” He pointed to a picture of Ruben and Kelly playing pool. “It was great to have another get together with Rube and Kel. I think Ruben’s new CD is gonna sell well. Heh, and it was so much fun to go into the studio together. I sang backup for one of his songs, and he sang backup for one of mine. We haven’t decided yet whether to publish our names in the credits or to just keep it our little secret. Good times!”
Clay clicked the mouse and a closeup shot of Kelly’s face appeared on the screen. Her mouth was wide open and she wore an expression of extreme shock. A huge grin spread across Clay’s face.
“Ha! I’ll never forget Kelly walking in on you and me while we played Twister! I never saw anybody run out of a room so fast in mah life! I’m so glad the security cameras captured that expression. I can tease Kelly about it forever!"
“Well, it took some real convincing before she finally believed us!” Jaymes exclaimed. They giggled simultaneously.
There was a knock on the door, and Clay’s assistant stuck her head in. “More flowers from Kelly Rippa. Twelve dozen this time. Hospital or retirement home?” “Hmmm, let's send these to a school ,” Clay said. “I bet some teachers could use a pick-me-up this time of year. And if she sent her resume again, put it directly into the recycle bin. I’m sorry she was fired from ‘Live,’ well, heh, no, I’m not—it had to be done. But I’m not giving her a job in the new TV show I’m planning.”
“She is having a tough time,” Jaymes noted. “So You Think You Can Dance said she couldn’t, America’s Biggest Loser said she was overqualified, and Girls Gone Wild said she was too over the top even for them. Bet she’d pay to have your hand over her mouth now!” Clay grimaced. “I never repeat a mistake. Heh, even mah good ones!”
They both looked back at the computer as, with a click, a picture of Clay on The View appeared on the screen. In it, Clay had a rather mischievous yet smug expression, and the ladies wore a look of surprise. “Okay,” Clay stated, “this is when I was very glad I followed your, I mean everyone’s advice and hired a personal publicist. She did a good job in covering up, I mean spinning mah appearance on The View where I put mah hand over all their mouths.” Jaymes shook her head. Clay continued, “Well they all deserved it.” Clay and Jaymes said together, “It had to be done.” Clay laughed and continued, “they were still arguing about Kripa and I was supposed to be talking about mah new CD. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise! Hee. Rosie still likes me, and she thought it was funny, so she helped convince the others to say it was all planned.
Jaymes wondered, “But how did you get Barbara to go along with that story? I’m surprised she would bend the truth for you.” Clay reassured her, “Oh, convincing Barbara was no problem at all—cause I coulda told folks how she licked every one of mah fingers, and even put mah whole thumb in her mouth!!!” He shivered. “But that’s okay. Seein’ as how she seems to be cravin’ a little male “company,” I sent ol’ Clive a love note and an invitation for an intimate dinner----and signed Barbara’s name! Heck, that might even be a little too much punishment!” pause “Nah!” Mebbe she can lick some life into that coot---figuratively speaking, of course……” Jaymes gave an involuntary shudder.
“And speaking of mah new CD, Where I Belong, isn’t it great that it’s sold over 3 mil already? I guess singing that soundtrack song was a reeely good idea, huh? Never did get how mah previous label could be satisfied with just going gold. Hee, I was gonna use that title for the album we wanted to do back in ’06, but this way it has extra meaning---songs with that theme and a label where I feel I belong too. That reminds me-- be sure to tell your brother he needs to hurry up and finish writing the music to those three new songs I wrote. I want to have mah next CD out by the end of the year. Geez, for someone who nagged and nagged me to write the lyrics to Lover All Alone, he sure is grumbly. He wanted me to write—I’m writing! Sometimes the words just flow. Tell him to get the music flowin’ too. Mebbe he can try holding his hand under some warm running water! Ha!-- sometimes I crack mahself up!!”
Jaymes rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell him. I just don’t think he expected you to be writing every song on this next album.” Clay chuckled. “Well he told me I couldn’t do it, and so did KelC, so, naturally, I did it! “ Jaymes smiled wryly, “And they’re great lyrics too. Hmmm, I bet you can’t learn to play the guitar!” “Nope,” Clay said, “that won’t work this time. Besides, you’d think playing the piano mahself on four of the songs would be enough to make y’all happy!” “Okay,” Jaymes agreed. “But I’m wondering what other tricks you have up your sleeve. You know, the fans absolutely loved that snippet of polka music you worked into the bridge of your last single.” Clay chuckled. “Well, I felt I owed them that much. I had promised earlier no more recording unless it was a Mongolian polka, so by golly, I finally got to deliver!”
He clicked the mouse and examined a group of pictures from the Saturday Night Live studio. Clay giggled. “Boy, I loved hosting SNL last year. I always wanted to be host and musical guest. And singing four songs instead of two really paid off---mah sales nearly doubled that week!” Jaymes said, “You did a great job! I bet they were surprised when you wrote the skit about Conan and Kathy G—and offered to play their parts yourself!!” “Hee!” Clay laughed. “I can’t decide which was mah favorite skit—that one or the one where I beat up the tabloid editor, after he recited a ridiculous list of headlines about the “king of controversy.” He mumbled under his breath “…and the highest rated SNL yet…”
Jaymes smiled. “Yep. And to think you barely had time to fit it in during the middle of your tour.” “Ah,” he replied, “I’ll always make time for SNL. And Oprah. Geez, you’d think three appearances last year would have been enough, but I hear she’s chomping at the bit to schedule me early this year too. Guess I better do it. After all, she gave me lots of good advice from her experience with O Magazine when I was startin’ mah C Magazine.” He looks at some cover photos on his screen. “Boy, I never imagined so many designers would be beggin’ me to wear their clothes in mah photos there. Or so many women wantin’ me to take them off, heh! I still say it does not take 15 women to get me into and out of those outfits each time!”
He heard another knock on the door. “GQ on the line again,” his assistant said. He replied, “Ask ‘em what part of ‘no, no way, not gonna do it, too late suckers, you didn’t want me earlier so you missed your chance’ they don’t understand?” “I think they just heard you,” she laughed. He turned to Jaymes, “I mean, I’m either good enough for your little magazine or I’m not, right? And I wasn’t then, so I’m not interested now. Besides, I don’t need any more picture-takin’ than I already have. How many times and to how many people do I hafta say “zooming is allowed only from the waist up?” “No zooming necessary,” Jaymes muttered under her breath. “What did you say?” “Nothing at all, Clay.” Clay tried hard to keep the smug look from creeping across his face, but he pretty much failed.
“Yep, I think 2007 was mah best year yet! But it’s gonna look puny next to 2008! One more week of vacation, and “here I go!” he crooned. Then he stood up, stretched, yawned, and rubbed his stomach. “I’m starving! How about you and I go get some barbeque for dinner?” Jaymes answered, “That sounds great. I’m getting hungry too.” Clay added, “then we can come home and play some more Twister.” Jaymes grinned, “or something like that……”
andee1960
margaret5828
CarolinaClay
nana41083
happyclayday
nyama
SmartyPantsSuz
yaknelle
ymarie
marilyon98
EmeraldEyes
moonhead
Cotton
fivegoldens
fcl1
NCsRedClayRocks
rcknrllmom
Gladys4351
canuck2010