Ready or Not
My husband passed away almost two years ago this June. These two years have been filled with so much pain and turmoil. He was my best friend and my soul mate and my love. That about sums it up nicely. Those few words encompass so much. Anyway, all my friends are now bugging me to have a date. “It has been long enough”, they say. “Just dinner”, they say. “Come on, it will be fun.” they say. FUN???? I don’t know about you girls, BUT, I do not mind admitting that it scares the living heck outta me!!!! A date??? Like in high school??? What will I wear? What Will we talk about??? Will my kids all freak out?? At least two of our four kids will FREAK for sure….both girls will: go figure! What if he is gross and I don’t like him? What if I like him, and he dosen’t like me? Who is gonna rescue me???? No Daddy for a backup now!!!! (my Dad always slipped me a quarter for a phone call in case of an emergency) And, after all, my pretend boyfriend Clay is a lot better than most of the jerks that are out there, right?? These are all very valid questions racing through my very muddled brain. I am desperately trying to think logically now about all this, so I decided that if I do date again I would make me a list of those things to look for in another guy. A perfect guy. (I know, I know, a pipe dream really, but I can dream nevertheless, right?) After all, when you have had the best it makes you especially picky. Inordinately so, I am sorry to say.
So, I will begin on my list, and in no particular order, you see. And, let’s go ahead and get this outta the way right now. Ideal man??? Why Clay Aiken of course. Tall lanky frame, drop dead gorgeous, hair and eyes to DIE for, exquisite hands, and OMG the guy can sing! And, did I mention his………ok this is a family blog, so I won’t even go there, but you girls know what I’m talking about, don’t even lie about it, o.k.?? But since I know that will probably never happen (o.k., I KNOW that it will never happen; I am NOT delusional, not yet anyway), I really need to forge ahead with my life. That’s what all my friends are telling me anyway. So, here goes.
He has gotta have hair. A lot of it…. on his head!!!! Not just a rim of hair with a dome in the middle, not a comb over that exposes the dome when the wind blows, but a full head of hair that you can run your fingers through. I don’t care what color, but for some reason, I have been partial to an auburn red color lately. Never cared for it before, wonder why now??? No product, soft and silky, not too short (kinda like the Christmas concert Clay hair). O.K., on the longish side, what can I say? Shallow I know, but God let him have hair!!!! (please) Can you tell I like hair?
- He has gotta have pretty eyes. The color is not necessarily important (but I do prefer blue (my husband) or green (there is Clay again). It is a guys eyes that get me EVERY time. They need to be expressive, soulful, tender, and kind. Especially kind. They need to twinkle and sparkle, ya know?? After all, the eyes are windows to the soul. You can tell so much about a guy through his eyes. Hey girls, sometimes you look in a guys eyes and there just isn't anything there. And, sometimes what you do see scares the daylights outta you; ya know what I mean?? You learn very early on to run from those, ..... If you have got ANY sense at all. Sadly some of us don’t have any…..sense that is. There is an old expression that says, “when you find your true love, you will see your children in his eyes.” So, so true right??? ( Hey, I found four kids in my husband’s eyes….six really; we just could not afford to have the other two!!) Now I sure am not saying I want any more kids, Lord NO, but anyway, you all get my drift.
He MUST have a good sense of humor, a good personality, and a beautiful smile. No self-righteous stick in the mud, please!!! He must be able to laugh at himself, and with others. I really prefer lots of snark! Snark??? Wonder why I like snark so much??? (oh no, Clay again… but I am quite snarky myself, so I am in dire need of a serious snarker to match wits with). There is hardly anything more wonderful or more fulfilling than a side splitting, from the belly laugh. (maybe one other thing, but I told you this IS a family blog, so I will not go there either). Laughter heals wounds and cleanses the soul, of that I am sure.
I want him to be tall, and on the lanky side. At least 6’ or 6’1”. At least that tall. I am fairly tall myself, so short just won’t work. Shallow too, I know, but I like a tall guy, what can I say? There is nothing like looking up to a guy and being able to rest your head on his chest and your body being encircled by a strong pair of arms. Heaven, pure heaven!!! And PLEASE…..absolutely NO body builder types for me!!!! I ain’t gonna lie---- they kinda scare me. (OMG, did I just describe Clay again??? Oops!!)
I want a smart guy…..did ya hear me, he MUST be smart!!!! And that is NOT being shallow!!! Life is way too short to be stuck with someone (even on a date) that is so boring that you want to stick him with a dinner fork or run screaming out the nearest exit. Ever felt like that girls, cause I KNOW that I have!!! Bet you have too. He must know what is going on in the world around us. I could care less who won last weeks football game. Actually, I don’t care about sports at all…. I used to ; not anymore. I prefer the smart, funny, sensitive geeky type. (wonder why, hmmmm, let me think on that for a while) Those are the kind of guys that last for a lifetime.
I want a guy that has a heart of gold and a soul that literally shines through his eyes. (there are the eyes again) I want him to care about others more than himself. I want him to be giving and loving. Hey, I think I want a prince! Are there any of those left …at all? There are so many places I want to see, so many more things I want to do. So Lord, if you send me a prince, please send him on a white horse wearing his crown and dragging the family jewels behind him!!!! (No pun intended, really!!!) Cause what I wanna do AIN’T cheap!! Sorry, being shallow again, I know. As long as I wishing though, right? It stinks to be poor---rather be rich with the prince!
He MUST love music. Music is my passion . I simply cannot imagine a single day without it. Even though I can’t really sing and cannot play an instrument, music is engrained in every part of my soul. All kinds of music. Pop, country, rock and roll, musicals, and even opera. Everything except rap!! Please DO NOT make me get out my fork again!!! It has been music that has sustained me these past two years. Music has been with me in the still of the night when friends and family could not be there. Music has wrapped its arms around me and cradled me to sleep, at a time when sleep has been so elusive. Music has started to heal my still fragile heart and soul. It is music that has made me realize that my life is really NOT over, even though many times I have thought that it was.( And, once again, here we go with Clay, because his music has been a huge part of my road to healing.) And, Lord can he sing to me??? All right, I know already……I am asking WAY too much!!! Sorry!!!
So, if I ever do decide to go on another date, will ya’ll please pray for me that a guy with the above qualifications shows up on my doorstep? I know that I am asking a lot especially since Clay is definitely NOT gonna show up (darn!!!) Actually, this is probably just a partial list. I am sure that I could come up with more. And, please forgive me for being so shallow, but sometimes shallow it a lot of fun. Not always mind you, but sometimes, anyway, right??? All of us women have at least a few shallow genes I am afraid to say. The only consolation is that men have many more girls, sooooo many more!!! Of that, you can rest assured!!! So what do ya’ll think; should I try this dating thing again, or should I RUN FOR THE HILLS???? After all, I still have my pretend boyfriend Clay, and he isn’t half-bad, even in the pretending state!!!!
lovingclay
ClayAiken
clayshable
wheelz002000
claymate41