We regret to inform you that MommaJudy cannot participate in this Blob….uh, make that Blog activitiy. As part of her psychiatric team here at the Clay Aiken Locked Ward for Delusional Fans Asylum, we believe it to be in her best interest to prevent her from having access to any type of keyboard device for inputting her delusional thoughts which she then posts throughout Cyberspace on Clay Aiken Message Boards. Lord knows the dear man (Clay Aiken, that is) is seriously put upon by hoards of his other fans, requiring his security chief Jerome Bell to maintain a “list”, so we believe that we are doing our part here by helping to keep MommaJudy under lock and key until such time as her anti-delusional medication is regulated.
MommaJudy has exhibited serious delusional behavior, which has become increasingly more severe as the months since the last Clay Aiken tour – December – tick by without a substantive appearance. MommaJudy explains this by saying the lack of Clack – a concept we fail to understand – is what is driving her insane. She is adamant that once the Juke Box Tour – another enigma for us – has begun, her psyche will right itself.
Our prognosis for her eventual return to an anti-delusional state is not good. Witness her most recent behavior:
She is often found on her knees praying to the Baby Jesus for Clay Aiken to appear in tight pants, or to be reincarnated as his pants, or just appear anywhere where he might be photographed and “Clack-a-sized”.
She has imaginary telephone conversations with Clay Aiken and believes that he wants to rent her converted RV, known as MommaJudy’s TourMobile, to travel to his upcoming shows and appearances.
She psychotically believes she can write and has written several chapters of Rapunzel Redefined where the Prince, aka Clay Aiken, has adventures which often feature some danger to his Royal Package of Family Jewels.
And most egregious of all, last spring on the Clayversity Board she came up with this friggin’……uh, hair-brained idea to design and swap pins which the entire Claynation now seems to have embraced. As a result, Paypal accounts are being emptied; fans desperate for desirable pins are willing to trade spouses and homes for them; and the metal reserve of the United States has been greatly diminished due to the number of board pins manufactured.
Therefore, until MommaJudy’s anti-delusional medication kicks in and remains stabilized, she will be confined here in the locked ward where she can spend her days with the other delusional fans making lovely fleece-lined straight jackets, and singing Kumbaya.
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