Drinking is not a good idea. Kids, don't start. There's my advice for the day.
Now seeing as I haven't taken that advice, I will now demonstrate why it's bad to drink, especially alone. I thought it might be fun to have some Margarita's to ring in summer. See, it's been quite cool and VERY rainy here in the Northeast. In some ways I don't mind as many people know, the heat does BAD things to me. This kind of weather, though unkind to the arthritis that seems to plague most of my body these days, is far more comfortable then the scorching heat we SHOULD have this time of year.
Sooooooooooooo, I thought 'Let's have a Margarita party to see if we can't move Summer along!'. Only one problem.....I'm the only one partying. Yup. My hubby and my kids are off watching the fireworks at my parents place. My friends and neighbors are off together having dinner, drinks and watching the fireworks. So that leaves me alone.....with a LOT of margaritas and a cat. So far, the margaritas have been hit rather hard, but the cat is safe.....for now!
I'm not sure why I isolate myself so much. Just when I think I have finally found something in my life or someone who will be there, they turn around and lie to me....then rub it in my face. Good thing none of them will ever read this. More then likely, no one will ever read this. It's quite possible by tomorrow, I will have a massive headache, read this, and think....when the HELL did I write that??????
When I was in high school, I had days like this. I felt isolated and alone. I knew I had friends and I knew people loved me, but still......it's like today when you leave a message on facebook, you would think someone would comment....but no one does. It just makes me think what the hell have I been doing with my life? What happened to me? Why do I feel so alone? And most importantly, why have I put myself in this position? Sometimes, being a stay at home Mom sucks. You always have your kids, at least while they are young, and maybe a few close friends. Eventually though, those friends have other friends.....and those friends get together without you and have lives that have NOTHING to do with you. You depend on them to keep you tethered to the 'outside' world, but they don't seem to realize just how much you need them. Kinda' sad really.
We strive for Independence in this country. Hell, we celebrate it every year! I just wish I didn't try to be so independent all the time. Independence can be a lonely, sad place.
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