Clay's Blog

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  09/06/06 18 Comments

  Oh, my. Two blogs in one week for me. I’m on a roll. But I'm gonna be up front here and probably save you some time. This is an off the wall blog for me. It’s not meant to entertain you and it’s not funny at all. At least I hope it’s not funny. So you may just wanna back out right now if that’s what you’re hoping for. Nope, this blog is self-indulgent. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a few months. It is complete and absolute speculation which is a place I almost never go. But I did this time. I’ve just been wanting to say this so I will since it’s my blog and I’m allowed to bore everyone in any way I choose.

  You know, Clay has been with us now for over 3 years. And from 2003 through 2005, this man has been busy busy busy. First AI, then the AI aftermath on TV, then the AI tour, then MOAM, then more TV, then the IT, more TV and radio interviews and newspaper interviews, Not a Tour, and more TV and interviews, MCWL, and the JNT2004 and on and on through the end of 2004.

  2005 started and we thought we were in a “drought.” Little did we know. And looking back, there really was no drought. Clay remained busy busy busy. Living in LA, Kimmel and Scrubs, two overseas UNICEF trips, BAF galas and promotion, TV stuff, TV Guide cover and other mags, and maybe, just maybe, he really was beginning a new album. It heated up in July with the JBT and continued through December with JNT2005 and more and more and more.

  Then, 2006. Complete and total silence. It’s September now and we have not seen one single solitary interview of Clay on TV. Only one significant live performance - AI5. No TV interviews, no radio interviews, no newspaper interviews. Nada. Nothing. It’s like night and day from what we saw and heard in previous years. And with all the buzz from AI5 when TV interviewed everyone and anyone about the Clay shocker, there was no interview with Clay. Not one. I think it had to be his choice. And sure the album promo is ratcheting up now and this is all gonna change, but here’s what I wonder.

  I wonder if the 2006 silence was Clay’s decision. And I wonder why.

  I think back on a few quotes from Clay in previous years.
  

  Remember that before AI he was asked “What are your goals in life?”

  He replied: “Success, happiness, stability.“ So I wondered, is there any stability in a life so driven by celebrity and the media?

  Remember the NAT program where Clay thanked Jerome for “helping me feel like myself again?” Made me think. I wondered exactly what it meant.

  Remember my favorite Clay interview ever - the one on that obscure Canadian TV show “The Standard?“ Remember all the stuff he said? If not, you really should watch it again. This is no boy. This is a man.

  Remember how he was often asked if he had a girlfriend. His standard reply was that he did not have time for a girlfriend.
  

  So I wondered - if you don’t have time for a girlfriend, do you have time for just friends who are not a part of your work? Do you have time for family? Do you have time for that book you wanna read, that movie you wanna see? Do you have time to have friends over to shoot the shit or play cards or trivia games? Do you have time to walk your own dog or just take a walk by yourself? Do you have time to sit on the couch, eat popcorn, and watch the latest stupid TV show that everyone’s talking about? Do you have time to go out to eat with your friends and drift through the evening talking about other friends you haven’t seen in forever? Do you have time to actually meet and connect with new people who are not all about your job but who are just people who interest you? Do you have time to explore your beliefs and your faith? Do you have time to try and understand the world you live in? Do you have time to sit and think about what it all means? Or more precisely, do you have time to just think?

  These are things I wonder about.

  I’m sure there are many people who are constantly in the news for music or movies or TV or sports or politics who love every moment of it. I’m sure there are people who enjoy this kind of celebrity and who are perfectly happy devoting most of their waking moments to it. Nothing wrong with that.

  But I do wonder what that leaves them with. I personally love my job and it is important to me. I have made many friends through my work and learned lots from it and I’ve grown from it. But if that was all I had other than a few stolen moments? That would be empty to me.

  So I wonder what Clay thought. Cause 2006 surely has been a change. I wonder if he decided that he needed to find his center again. Maybe the 2006 silence was a conscious choice by Clay. Now I have no doubt that he loves his job, that he loves making great music, that he loves being loved by his fans. But I wonder if he asked himself if that was all there was, would he be happy and fulfilled? I wonder if he decided that he needed to take a step back. Get out of the spotlight. To explore the things that he’s passionate about. To be just Clay. Maybe he needed to find a better balance. Find some friends. Rediscover himself and his interests. Develop relationships. Just waste time sometimes. Maybe he just wants to be happy. Be normal. Be human. I think that’s pretty important.

  So I do wonder. But if what I wonder about has any truth to it, I hope he found what he was looking for. Because I think it’ll make him a better musician. But most of all, I hope he found it because I think it’ll make him a better man. And because I love him and I want him to be happy.

  But what do I know?

  (I promise now I’ll just quit wondering and resume offering advice. Even if no one asks me for advice. You may call that bossy. I just call it helpful.)

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